# Bethak - The Desi Lounge > Student Zone >  The Truth About College:

## coolshoaib

College            is a bunch of rooms where you sit for 2,000 hours or so and try to memorize things. The 2,000 hours are spread out over four years. You spend the rest of the time sleeping, partying, and trying to get dates.

          Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college:

1. Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). 2. Things            you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours).

          The latter are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, -osophy, -istry, -ics, and so on. The idea is you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life.

          After you've been in college for a year or so, you're supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: Be sure to choose a major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers. This means you must not major in mathematics, physics, biology, chemistry, or geology because these subjects involve actual facts.

If, for example, you major in mathematics, you're going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If you don't come up            with exactly the answer the professor has in mind, you fail.

The same is true of chemistry: If you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on. Scientists are extremely snotty about this.

          So you should major in subjects like English, philosophy, psychology, and sociology - subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody            else is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts.

          I attended classes in all these subjects, so I'll give you a quick overview of each: 

*ENGLISH*: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say Moby Dick            is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a            big white whale roughly 11,000 times. So in your paper, you say Moby Dick            is actually the Republic of Ireland. Your professor, who is sick to death            of reading papers and never liked Moby Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English.

*PHILOSOPHY*: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.

*PSYCHOLOGY*: This involves talking about rats and dreams. Psychologists are obsessed with rats and dreams. I once spent an entire semester training a rat to punch little buttons in a certain sequence, then training my roommate to do the same thing. The rat learned much faster. My roommate is now a doctor. If you like rats or dreams, and above all if you dream about rats, you should major in psychology.

*SOCIOLOGY*: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far            and away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code. If you plan to major in sociology, you'll have to learn to do the same thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when            they fall down. You should write: "Methodological observation of the sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that a causal relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory behavior forms." If you can keep this up for 50 or 60 pages, you            will get a large government grant.

Source *the internet*

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## jakson_007

Oh my big one..

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## jakson_007

You know so much abt college

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## dsjeya

nice one
thanks for sharing cool friend

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## coolshoaib

> nice one
> thanks for sharing cool friend


My pleasure.

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## dark_sion23

wow, interesting post...

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## Atlantic

hmm interesting

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## Tulip

Good one as always Shoaib  :Smile:

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## gmiller

Wow...very interesting facts about college. thanks for sharing with us.

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## coolshoaib

Thanks all of you for appreciation.

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## chaoge

hahahahaha.. nice..

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## sms2mint

its really true we learn a lot in college life and also it is the best phase of life where we really enjoy our lives.......

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## smithpeter

Don't expect it to change anything that isn't already there. Education can all too often give one a superiority complex, while people of street smarts or business sense are already out making good salaries and taking in high incomes.College can be many things depending on what you need and what you want to accomplish, but it is not a cure-all.

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## tuxawy

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks

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## UGUR5253

niceeeeeeeeeeeee:clap2:

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## Alvarojimmy1

I just have read this whole article which you have shown here and the thing is that I want to say you that it looks really that much nice and I totally agree with you. As now a days it happens in the in colleges.

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## desiguy2008

thanks a lot...

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## rolandgill

Great sharing and informative stuff. I agree your thoughts as it is well explained the facts behind the college life and activities.

Thanks and keep it up  :Smile:

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## andersonk1271

Wow. Nice share. After reading this share i am dreaming my college days which now i can't get it back. We have fun and friends in college times. Everyone who are in college, enjoy these days because it will never come back in future. Enjoy Days!

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