# Bethak - The Desi Lounge > Teen Talks >  Feelings Cafe III

## Endurer

By posting the third version, I am sending a message to every living soul out there; never give up! I am hoping that DesiTwist will come back long before the memories of feelings cafe vanish from our minds. One more time:

Sometimes the toughest thing about feelings can be sharing them with others. Just because it's hard to talk about feelings doesn't mean it isn't worth it. We have had received tremendous amount of support from our fellow friends who were there, giving us a shoulder to cry on.

Sharing your feelings helps you when your feelings are good and when they aren't so good. Sharing also helps you to get closer to people you care about and who care about you. When people talk about feelings, they sometimes use the word "emotions" 

I hereby invite you to this hodgepodge of emotional discussions. Describe how are you feeling today at desi twist, feelings about any post / topic / member, feelings about current political situation, feelings you've felt out of the blue aka mood swings et al. Learn more and get help, provide suggestions or ask for them. At feelings cafe, there is someone always around to help you get out of emotional distress.

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## Hina87

I am honored to be the first to reply.

My feelings? I'm scared, hopeful, sad, and a little tired.  :Wink: 

I'm scared because of all of these changes. First, I got a new job. Then, I got accepted to a university that I'll be starting at the end of this month. The next thing after that, I got to find out that DT has come to an end and one of my closest friends is leaving this net world. I can't even imagine how difficult all these new changes will be on me. My routine will be forever changed.

I'm hopeful because everyone here, including me, will go on to their own lives after DesiTwist has left us... but there is always a chance that it will be re-opened. I will be waiting for that day. 

I'm sure you've all figured out why I'm sad. This place has always been a home away from home. It is owned by my brother which made it even more special. I don't think I could ever be more proud of him for the upkeep of DT and making it the best forum ever. 

It's been a pleasure.

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## Tulip

You are so right Hina, we are all going to miss Dt a lot. As for my feelings, i am feeling restless and tensed, don't know what the future holds for us. But lets keep our hopes high insha-Allah things will workout for the better.

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## Nadeem

i, too, feel a little disappointed on the sad news. but isnt there anything that we all can do to keep this place affloat? :Smile:

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## Endurer

I am looking forward to the TD thats to hit HK tomorrow.

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## Hina87

Many things have changed and yet, I still want to die. I guess the things I have really wanted have not changed. I don't have much optimism that those things will end up being positive anytime soon... realistically speaking of course.

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## Endurer

Is death asking for realism or is it just a catch phrase?

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## Nadeem

death doesnt resolve anything. the problems still persist. death is only an easy way out from the current problems, yet you would be interested to know that even bigger problems would await the ones who die :Smile:

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## Hina87

At Teddy: Death means I want to die. Don't make it harder than it really is.

At Nadeem: Saying something and actually doing it are are two very different things.

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## Endurer

So by dying, you don't want to die? Interesting jargon.

I, as always, feel pissed off at someone for a good reason.

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## Salafi_Scientist

death is the beginning of eternity ...

@ Nadeem: Asking for death is not an easy way out. instead it means that the person realizes the worthlessness of this world. This world can NEVER be heaven. There ALWAYS will be problems, there is no point in trying to solve those problems. We should, instead, enjoy the humanly side of our relationships without any regards to the problems we have.

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## EntangleDesi

I feel like its a battle --the heart v. intelligence
Part of me feels like _they_ only look for me when the need something or want me to do something for them - otherwise I'm not needed or wanted around. I get the feeling of made of excuses any other day, till they come looking for something. I feel like I'm loosing touch.

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## Hina87

> So by dying, you don't want to die? Interesting jargon.
> 
> I, as always, feel pissed off at someone for a good reason.


I said I want to die... I didn't say I'm about to kill myself right now, but I'll text you right before I decide to.  :Big Grin:

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## Endurer

@ED: Being used, are we?

@Hina: Try thanking the Almighty.

Just came back from a boring mehndi of my cousin. The only attraction was rain for me, the sizzling downpour that cracked plenty of roads. Some old faces helped me light the fire just so I could see them burn.

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## Yawarkamal

feeling great because DT not going to end...Happy 

Also my other problems will solve

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## Hina87

> @Hina: Try thanking the Almighty.


You know better than anyone that there are days where all you want to do is give up. I'm not always like that, but releasing feelings here is a small way to let out some frustration.

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## EntangleDesi

> @ED: Being used, are we?
> 
> @Hina: Try thanking the Almighty.
> 
> Just came back from a boring mehndi of my cousin. The only attraction was rain for me, the sizzling downpour that cracked plenty of roads. Some old faces helped me light the fire just so I could see them burn.


Would seem to be, If I were jumping in and doing for them - but I haven't - I've been busy with things of my own.

Its more of a feeling of being left out for something I didn't do

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## Endurer

> You know better than anyone that there are days where all you want to do is give up. I'm not always like that, but releasing feelings here is a small way to let out some frustration.


Yes there are and I make upto it at the end because I have fine people like you supporting me in each and every move of mine.  :Smile:

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## Endurer

> Would seem to be, If I were jumping in and doing for them - but I haven't - I've been busy with things of my own.
> 
> Its more of a feeling of being left out for something I didn't do


Maybe doing it could bring back some solace?

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## Hina87

> Yes there are and I make upto it at the end because I have fine people like you supporting me in each and every move of mine.


Awww. :hands: And I always will be there to support you.  :Smile:  I can't believe we've known each other for over 2 years now. :s InshaAllah, one day, we'll be able to point and laugh at each other about how wrinkly and old we've become.  :Big Grin:

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## Endurer

Two years?  :Embarrassment:  When did that happen? And I don't wanna get old  :Frown:

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## Hina87

It happened within the last two years.  :Big Grin: 

Aw, you don't wanna get old?  :Frown:  I'll give you botox injections.  :Big Grin:

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## Endurer

LOL no way I am getting those shots  :Big Grin:  When's our anniversary?

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## Hina87

:Big Grin: 

I think it's in July. I don't remember exactly, but you have our first conversation saved, so you can look there.

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## Endurer

I deleted all of them along with ours  :Frown:

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## EntangleDesi

Feeling inspired :nerd: six more chapters..four more tests..and one class over with




> Maybe doing it could bring back some solace?


I would..I want to..but our timings have been off..I'm planning though. Sometimes I think I'm just being a girl..all needy and all :P

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## Hina87

> I deleted all of them along with ours


Why did you do that?  :Frown:  You could have saved ours at least.  :Frown:

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## niceguy

soooo booooored

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## Endurer

> Feeling inspired :nerd: six more chapters..four more tests..and one class over with
> 
> 
> I would..I want to..but our timings have been off..I'm planning though. Sometimes I think I'm just being a girl..all needy and all :P


If I were you, I'd do it and see how thiings shape up.

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## Endurer

> Why did you do that?  You could have saved ours at least.


They were taking a lot of space (15 gigs) so I had to get rid of them. Besides that, you know how much it hurts baby :elvis:

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## Hina87

But I didn't hurt you.  :Frown:  

Topic: I feel like crap. I have a soar throat that won't go away; I had a temperature yesterday... haven't checked it today, yet; And my stomach is totally screwed up. I just feel yucky!

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## Endurer

Get well soon Hina :giveflower; umm you know what kind of stuff I had in them so...

I am, as my status says, under a lot of family pressure. I don't know why they always have to grind me in their petty disputes.

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## Hina87

Thunkooos sweety pie.  :Smile:  Try not to take it too personally Teddy. Let it go through one ear and out the other. That's what I try to do.

I still feel yucky today. The worst part is that I'm at work with this ickyness.  :Frown:

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## friendlygal786

hey everyone... :Smile:   feeling kinda tensed and upset, but after a couple of days of depression...i just wanna stop thinking!!

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## EntangleDesi

^^hope you gals feel better :]
I feel like celebrating, after watching the Men's 2X400M relay!!!
That was some major ass whooping from the word GO

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## Endurer

I got a job and tomorrow be the first day at it, PHEW!

Feeling any better, Hina?  :Smile:  Yes, I try to keep it that way but sometimes you just can't keep on ignoring.

Yassi, why depression? Hope you feel better soon.  :Smile: 

ED, who got the gold?

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## EntangleDesi

^^Congratulations.

USA got the gold...here's the video to it---> Men's 2X400m Medley Relay

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## friendlygal786

Bhai- just some family probs...and personal probs, thanx inshALLAH ALLAH behter karega  :Smile:

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## Tulip

Insha Allah yasra  :Smile: 
I am feeling happy and relieved...:-) shukar alhamdulillah.

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## Nadeem

hello everyone, how do you feel today? :Smile:

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## friendlygal786

thanx Tulip  :Smile: 
Hello Nadeem...im feeling better, how bout u

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## Nadeem

hi friendly :Smile: 
i am feeling good too :Smile: . 
so what is happeneing? :Smile:

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## Nadeem

hey adeel, congratulations on getting a job :Smile: 
what is the job, care to discuss? :Smile: 
and best of luck on the new job :Smile:

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## Hina87

> I got a job and tomorrow be the first day at it, PHEW!
> 
> Feeling any better, Hina?  Yes, I try to keep it that way but sometimes you just can't keep on ignoring.


Congratulations, again on your new job! I'm somewhat bummed that the hours are so long.  :Frown:  I hope you'll be able to have some time for yourself.

Yes, my throat is a lot better now. I still am a bit sick though. Besides that, I'm depressed, lonely, and cranky. Maybe it's because of all the medication I've been taking. I don't know what's wrong with me.

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## EntangleDesi

I'm pooped and hungry - come cook for me  :Big Grin:

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## friendlygal786

Nadeem--great, im feeling ok, just tired from working  :Smile: 

Adeel bhai--congrats on ur new job... :Big Grin:

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## friendlygal786

> Congratulations, again on your new job! I'm somewhat bummed that the hours are so long.  I hope you'll be able to have some time for yourself.
> 
> Yes, my throat is a lot better now. I still am a bit sick though. Besides that, I'm depressed, lonely, and cranky. Maybe it's because of all the medication I've been taking. I don't know what's wrong with me.


Hey Dolly :hug;...hope u will get better soon, dont worry too much  :Smile:

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## Hina87

@Yassu Sis - Thank you. :giveflower;

I've taken 2 different pills for my throat, mixed in with my anti-depressants, mixed in with the stress of having to drive to 3 cities for school, work and home has pretty much made me crazy.  :Big Grin:  Despite all that, I've had time to feel lonely too. :s

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## Endurer

How's everyone?

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## friendlygal786

wow Hina...u hav alot to do!

hello bhai im feeling tired as usual wat bout u

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## Nadeem

hello how is everyone feeling? :Smile: 
i am feeling ok i guess :Stick Out Tongue:

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## friendlygal786

hi im feeling ok too  i guess  :Smile:

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## EntangleDesi

hi strangers :]

I spent my day feeling frustrated, angry and fighting for what is owed to me. Frustration at poor customer service and untimely response..angry at the fact that I'm being asked to give more and more, when I wasn't given my share of the deal. How can one give back [return] something, that they have not received. Angry also, because they made the mistake, and expect me to fix it.But also angry at myself for being to trusting..never again..I have def. learned my lesson..
but even though the fight isn't over..I will not settle till I get a satisfying answer..I can no longer be frustrated..or angry..I will not add unnecessary stress..totally not worth it

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## friendlygal786

Hmm...I can understand all that entangle, I feel that way too sometimes but ur right it is NOT worth it to feel angry and frustrated cuz u only hurt urself. Good luck  :Smile:

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## EntangleDesi

> Hmm...I can understand all that entangle, I feel that way too sometimes but ur right it is NOT worth it to feel angry and frustrated cuz u only hurt urself. Good luck


My frustration isn't because I have lost something [materialistic things aren't important] but not having good or any sort of customer service is what irks me soo much

but whatever 1 1/2 more lessons to go and I will be done with my Intro to Business course

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## Endurer

I have wasted yet another day by doing nothing, nothing at all.

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## friendlygal786

I am feeling oh so confused, cheated, mentally exhausted, HURT and sick of my relationship, what more can I say

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## RAHEN

feeling stressed and at the same time satisfied...as everything is planned..i wished not to keep planning but yes..i dont think that waz a right option to go for...near future planning is good..

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## Hina87

I am so damn tired. After the little incident I had (which wasn't so little), I'm feeling really yucky. I want to sleep longer than 7 hours dammit! :@

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## zeabiii

feeling great all the time

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## RAHEN

> I am so damn tired. After the little incident I had (which wasn't so little), I'm feeling really yucky. I want to sleep longer than 7 hours dammit! :@


explain ur little incident...

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## Hina87

@Aapi: Hmm... I don't think I should say it here. Jab aap online aayengi tho phir bataongi.

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## Endurer

Get well soon, Hina  :Smile:

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## RAHEN

> @Aapi: Hmm... I don't think I should say it here. Jab aap online aayengi tho phir bataongi.


theek hai.inshaALLAH.

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## Endurer

I am giving in to these mercurial twists of temperament inside of me. Life has left me to chance instead of chase. Of course, it bothers me a lot because I have to answer questions related to my father every single day.

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## Endurer

I have decided to write here again until I or the circumstance get better. No more personal blogging, I suppose.

I spent my day under the umbrella of depression, pressure, and a little bit of yearning. Because I am being thrown into the inferno of pressure time and time again, I have decided to not stand up; I'd rather sit there in it and see things through than come out and get bruised again. It suits me well, don't you think?

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## Yawarkamal

> I have decided to write here again until I or the circumstance get better. No more personal blogging, I suppose.
> 
> I spent my day under the umbrella of depression, pressure, and a little bit of yearning. Because I am being thrown into the inferno of pressure time and time again, I have decided to not stand up; I'd rather sit there in it and see things through than come out and get bruised again. It suits me well, don't you think?


Dear life is a twist , if there is bad then there is good also, if there is sadness then there is Happiness also ... 

Let the life on its own way and dont think more as i think more but gets nothing so in that case u have to sit such a place where u r alone no body to disturb , just sit and think NOTHING.. Turn on ur mobil Musik with low volume and REMEMBER DONT THINK ANY THING..

umbrella of depression, pressure will not overcome at u and after some time u will get the right ways and Automaticly the solutions of problem comes out mind and Allah always do better for his lovedones...

Pls Try this...and dont ever think that it will not work
MYK

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## Endurer

Yawar, I've over done it already and as far as solutions are concerned, I don't sleep before I have them in my hand. So, in essence, it's not the problems that I am afraid of; it's the abundance of them.

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## Hina87

This week has been a week from hell. First off, I've been incredibly sick with a nasty cold that refuses to go away. On top of that, my boss has been pissing me off with her attitude problems. She tells me that she has given me things that she actually has not and acts like everything is my fault when it's really hers. WTF is her problem?! I don't need this bull. I'm having problems with my income because I'm working less and she won't give me more hours. On top of that, I'm having some major personal problems. I really want to pull my hair out.

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## Endurer

Keep your head down for a while, Hina. As for me, I just want to fly.

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## Hina87

Ugh... You have no idea Teddy. Lately, everything has been making me angry.

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## RAHEN

feeling free from all tensions...and getting ready to taste the fruits of ramadan.

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## Tulip

But we just have 5-6 days left rahen.

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## RAHEN

not a problem...i m blessed that i m atleast left with this...btw...ALLAH sees the niyah... :Big Grin:

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## Tulip

Righto! :up;

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## Endurer

Welcome back, sis.

I am a touch excited today because this might be my first half day at work  :Stick Out Tongue:

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## RAHEN

thanks.. :Big Grin: ..aap touch excited hote hain... :Stick Out Tongue: 

i m feeling good shukar al hamdALLAH...but just little lazy dazy feeling is going on...right now willing to utilize my time for the good of self and surroundings.

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## Yawarkamal

Hello , Welcome back RAHEN.

Today IN office NO work only EID milan Party, all day only sitting and meeting all employees..

I m good & fine...

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## RAHEN

thanks yawar...aur abhi kaam ka time shuru...party is over.. :Stick Out Tongue:

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## Endurer

The one that stands up to fight and the one that sits in the corner while they kick on his ribs - is it that there's no other person between the two of them or is it that I am too naive to find and be that person? Tonight, I'll ask me a lot of questions.

And I wanted to believe you'd win the war in your head that I did not understand.

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## Miss_Sweet

In love!!!again ..lol  :Stick Out Tongue:

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## Tulip

with the same person or someone else?

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## Endurer

When it comes to where I spend my day, I don't know if I am gaining insight or losing insight. Does it matter? I don't think it should, not at least during this time of the year.

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## Miss_Sweet

With someone else, Tulip  :Wink:

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## Tulip

I wish you all the best, may you find your soul mate in him  :Smile: 

aaj hum bohat sarey dinon baad khush hain...acha lag raha hai

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## nihayath

As salamalaikum

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## EntangleDesi

Sleepy - going to sleep at 7 am only has made me more tired. 

Like the narrow path of a shooting star along the infinite expanse of space.
I don't know where I started, and I have no idea as to where I'm going.
I deviate, and all the resonates is the speed in which we age.
Everything breathes, inflates, and then crumbles, so we start again.

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## Tulip

sleep well ED  :Smile:  and i am impressed with your writing skills, I mean the way you put your thoughts into words is awesome.

I was feeling low but my husband always cheers me up  :Smile:  he is my world and i love him a lot.

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## EntangleDesi

^thank you :]

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## Tulip

Pleasure. Did you sleep? and how are you doing today?  :Smile:

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## EntangleDesi

sorta kind..lol..i went to sleep at 4 am today..i really should go to bed earlier..but dammit..i have an important conversation going :P
i'm doing well though, hows your day?

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## Miss_Sweet

tired!!!wanna sleeep

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## Tulip

same here, i am tired but not sleepy. My day was fine ED, thanks for asking  :Smile:

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## Endurer

It's been a dull day and I don't feel like doing anything at all.

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## EntangleDesi

^^me too...I rolled out of bed and just let the day be

I should go to bed early and catch up on my lack of sleep - I can feel it. But I won't...I know me all too well :]


Tulip: you're welcome :]

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## Endurer

I really want to sleep early today but guess I can't because there are deadlines to catch.

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## RAHEN

itni mast hawa chal rahi hai...dil chahta hai..kisi corniche pe jaon...feeling good at the moment...

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## Tulip

Wah jee.
I am feeling nauseated :s

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## EntangleDesi

^^feel better [[hugs]]

Missing someone I don't even know, is that even possible?

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## Tulip

thank you ED, hugs to you too.  :Smile: 

I am super annoyed at the moment. Your message made me feel a little better  :Smile: 

Well...it's possible but that certain someone must have done something special to leave such an impact on your brain  :Wink:

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## EntangleDesi

aww..but that's just it..they haven't or had any way of doing anything to even justify this feeling - I am so living in the moment... and there isn't even one :P

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## Tulip

enjoy the euphoria  :Smile:  i am just feeling tired and low.

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## EntangleDesi

I wish I could, but I always have some other feelings right there with it ..too bad I'm not one of those that shows it too often. Worrying and stressing bites ass!!!

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## Endurer

I am pretty sure there are remnants of self loathing trapped inside of me and they won't go away. While I don't think it's a wise idea to embrace them, it's definitely worth a try.

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## unexpected

Feeling emotionless...

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## EntangleDesi

I want to dream those dreams again; but instead of not knowing the who, _he_ would take over. 

to feel the pure _pleasure_ of satisfaction
It's a feeling or even in this case a dream that cannot be explained

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## EntangleDesi

I cannot get S.A off of my mind - this is CRAZY!!!

It's a major case of the heart v. intelligence.

It's only for fun, Mishy, it can't be anything else. Or can it?

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## EntangleDesi

I am still excited after last nights elections results...

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## ADIL_09

yh im excited too abt the results but to be honest black ppl deserve it they've suffered alot

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## RAHEN

well obama has won... :Big Grin:

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## EntangleDesi

Adil: Forget about the fact that he's black..he was the better candidate of the two. But I will say that he has paved the way for the rest of those out there that are not Caucasian. It's about time Americans' stop looking at the color of the skin and their religion, but instead at their integrity ..after all it is the UNITED states *roll* - but sticking to reality racism still exists..but this has shown that there is a chance..a positive roll that one day it too will end..seriously though...who would of thought..I sure didn't see this day coming so soon in my lifetime. 

I feel like I shouldn't be missing a certain person. but I do...its a slight obsession I tell you. This heart v. intelligence game is battle..its a battle of distance..a battle of uncertainty..a battle of wanting..a battle of wishing. I hate this distance between us. I hate not being able to have/be with them.

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## Endurer

I am allowing myself to hit rock bottom cuz I want to do the get up on your own drill this time.

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## EntangleDesi

I feel like I should just put myself out there..I have nothing to loose..

And I need to learn Japanese..I have no idea what I'm listening to..but I like :P

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## EntangleDesi

I have fallen in love all over again..though I've never stopped -

with Niraj Chag's - Along the Dusty Road

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## Endurer

Yesterday I was out and about on the streets of Hong Kong in a suit after a long time or maybe for the first time in this city. My grandpa came here a long long time ago, he did (maybe) what I am doing today and one day he passed away. I don't have him anymore so I don't know if he ever stopped and asked himself; What am I doing here? Is this where I belong or is this where I want to belong? Maybe, just maybe, he didn't seem to have a plan, an exit startegy, or maybe he failed. Speaking of failures, I don't happen to have a very bright track record so what am I doing differently? I know theres destiny and theres luck (you! yes you, the observationist reading my post; shut up!) but does it not boil down to what you stand for? I mean I can keep on holding my part of the ground for the rest of my life but is that going to be enough? 

The day I lost you was the day I stopped being me - from a young ambitious man standing in the middle to a lethargic old man sitting in the corner. From a tyranic leader to a servile follower; oh you can tell me that I have travelled a lot. Now I don't even know if I have that in me anymore. There are times though when I pretend like a leader but the truth is that I do it only when I am being told to do so. I despise me, if truth is to be told. Who's responsible? None yet - but I want to steal that honor, want it to be my scaffold so that I could finally set myself free.

Speaking of freedom, what's it like to be free in a cage?

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## Hina87

Anger sets in, but it always dissipates quickly with you. 

The following song is something I heard on the radio while driving and fell immediately in love with it. It really is beautiful. 

_I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try try to divide something so real
So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
_

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## EntangleDesi

saddish [and yes, in my land that is a word!!!] I sorta, kinda miss this fool you see...more than anything else I miss talking to them - blaah

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## glimmering_candle

Im  feeeeling very excited cuz i've won an essay writing compitition and 20,000 rupees!!:d

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## Endurer

I am caught up between doing things and not doing things. Is it fine to just sit back and let them talk trash for a while or should I be proactive in kicking their butts?

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## glimmering_candle

i m confused:s






i know what is wrong!
but i wish it were right!
i want it to b right right right!!!
i want it to b right!!!

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## Endurer

Well then make it right  :Wink: 

I am at cloud nine after a very long time (No, I want to mention it) because of the super awesome you don't wanna know what.

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## glimmering_candle

feeeling like m allll alone...

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## Yawarkamal

Hey buddies look like very sad & serious talk..It seems we are all same...

But CHILL THE LIFE AS IT IS...JO KUCH LIKHA HY WOH TU HONA HY , SO DONT WORRY , TAKE THINGS AS IT IS, FACE THINGS IN LIFE WITH COURAGE. ITS HARD I KNOW..

So keep smiling , keep loving , keep enjoying your self only...

LOVE U & TAKE CARE

MYK

----------


## khawab

feeling great  :Smile:

----------


## Yawarkamal

Feels good , my brother Nikah cermoney yesterday ,its a big change in our home in pakistan because before there is no girl only bachlers and MOM,so its nice, i m happy Now next clean way for me, ab mera number hy ...He he he heee

MYK

----------


## Endurer

Congratulations bro  :Smile: 

I feel a little sadistic right now but guess I will get rid of it before sunset.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i m feeeling sick

----------


## Endurer

Sick as in sick to the stomach or sick as in ill? Get well soon though.  :Smile: 

I feel stressed even though the day has just started.

----------


## Yawarkamal

Hey feel stressed at the begining of the day ?

Take care

----------


## Endurer

Yeap, and tired today.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i feeeel tired...

rat ko bohat late shadi se aai.

----------


## EntangleDesi

:[ I've lost/misplaced one of my *favorite* gold earring [hoop] and its *Bugging* the C R A P out of me..I swear I had both of them a minute ago when I gave a set to my sister to wear...BOOO
but that's not what this post is about...

How am I feeling? Really? I don't know...I have nothing to be saddened or angry over but then at the same time there are disappointments/situations that keep me from reaching full happiness - just wish that there wasn't so much of the separation. I can deal with the distance.

----------


## glimmering_candle

so sad n bad friend!!!



i wish u find it soooon!!! :Frown:

----------


## Endurer

For the first time in the history of the feelings or the cafe, I am scared to confess what I am feeling. Is it all that was to it? Did I lose track? It feels as if I am totally inadequate and insecure to deal with what's happening.

In other news, the UTI is back in it's full swing.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i' m feeeling bore bore kinda thing... m just wandering in my house like a fool

----------


## Endurer

The soul searching begins.

----------


## Endurer

Thanks for the compliment(s) old man. It really helps a lot to have someone like you reminding me of what I am and what I am not.

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeeeeeeling...*seifrieunndgnndngggeri5tuieiooritmmfgmdkgklkdiotio  5rekkgfsk*the thing i cnt express...:s

----------


## Endurer

Feelings cafe without some songs is like a cage to me so here goes one that perfectly represents me: 

Mere khuda karam yeh ata ho, ankhien meri bhuja de zara, is nabz ko jamne de, jaaney de jaan. :dj; 

Oh, there it is, my emoticon.

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeeeeeling sleepy :Big Grin:

----------


## Endurer

Really pissed off at this shop keeper selling counterfeit cigarettes out in the open. Time to call the consumer council and have his ass flown to mars.

----------


## EntangleDesi

Slightly disappointed that I will not be spending New Years Eve out and about with friends, but I don't see how one can justify paying that much for tickets - and it's not even V.I.P or all inclusive of drinks!!! It just wouldn't be responsible or right of me to through away my money on that, especially right now..

----------


## Endurer

So I gave up on half a million people celebrating new year's eve at victoria harbor, some friends, food, family and fun just so I could sit here and feel sorry. Well, the years over and so are the feelings.

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeeeeeeling sleepy :Big Grin:  again

neeend kuch humko ati nahi warna
apni kismat ko to soye hue arsa guzra:winkiss:

----------


## Endurer

Feels as if I have accomplished every single thing in life (I haven't though) all because of this person; she makes my world complete.

----------


## Tulip

Feeling very good and happy after a long time  :Smile:  and i really want to fly to some other place.

----------


## glimmering_candle

ooooooohhh... u can't understand no 1 can...
strong inflammation in my throat..
on 9th moharram... a daig full of biryani in my house... n me... m eating *CHAYE PAPPAY*... :Frown:

----------


## Yawarkamal

HI buddies kaisa hy sub ,

I m fine , after 2 days rest now again ready for work till next weakend...

Have a great day..

----------


## glimmering_candle

feelin a bit good :Big Grin:

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeling head in my pain...




lol  feeling pain in my head...:s

----------


## jackcollins

CONFUSED 
i excatly don't know what mood am in right now .
i think its combination of all kinda emotions .?
:S

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeeling sumthing differenet... n thirsty... but i dun knw y i dun wanna walk to the kitchen n drink sum water... can sum1 bring me a glass of water???:s

----------


## NInA

Feeling great alhumdulilah .. never better.

----------


## volvo

feeling sleepy yar   :s

----------


## glimmering_candle

today m feeling very happy and giggly... just not becoz mausam is very awsome... but also becoz i've took a big step ... a very big indeed... for a darpok gul like me... so ... m happy with my feelings and deed.. :Big Grin:

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeling ajeeb o gharib...

----------


## Anxious Soul

Feeling something new...

----------


## Endurer

I want to spend some time out or else it might get out of control

----------


## EntangleDesi

Excited for Tuesday, January 20th..will be glued to the TV...would of loved to be in D.C. and witness the event in flesh..but it's def. going to be crazy out there..but who knows, might even make the drive up..Let's see what the forecast is :]

----------


## glimmering_candle

there's always some reason to feel not good enough...

----------


## waffa

am feelz tired . . . . need som foOd now

----------


## Tulip

Alhamdulillah i am enjoying every minute and every second of our loving peaceful life  :Smile:

----------


## Endurer

I took a day off for no reason and it's been killing me.

----------


## Hina87

I haven't driven for fun since a very, very long time. Actually, it was a drive to cool off, but it was fun! Driving with my CD of old songs and then switching to an NSYNC CD  :Big Grin: .. I really had a blast. The sun was setting and it was exhilarating going down the highway watching it. 

I have blown my top. Why do people expect me to be selfless all of the time when they can't be themselves? They expect me to be happy and forgiving and loving 24/7. And why the hell does everyone give me advice instead of just shutting the hell up while I let off some steam? Why is that so damn difficult? I don't care what you think... if you can't tolerate the way I am then go away. I know that no one will ever love me the way I want them to. The one person I always thought would be with me has left me in the dust. No one will ever understand me. Another thing, it's always about you. And if, for one second, I talk about myself, I am automatically selfish and careless.  :Big Grin:  I don't care what you think. I'm done running after people and apologizing for no reason just so we can be happy together again. I'm done being the first person to take that first step. I honestly don't care anymore. When I talk about my life, people automatically assume they know everything. You don't know the half of it! I... just... don't... care. And now, I am free.

Take me away Superman!  :Big Grin:

----------


## friendlygal786

Hey Hina...how r u sweety  :Smile:  I missed u!
Im feeling...hmmm I cant describe it. Just sick of life

----------


## Hina87

Hi Sis. I've missed you too!  :Smile: 

I'm feeling stressed mostly. I am feeling a little bit of everything right now though. I'm having to deal with things that I never dreamed I would have to deal with. It's a lot.

----------


## waffa

Am feeling goOd enjoying colors of life

----------


## friendlygal786

feeling betrayed and cheated...its just not fair. I can deal with alot of things, but not betrayal, but I guess no matter how much u lov somone u r never safe

----------


## VisionHawk

feeling  confident and determined mayve cause i did the right thing

----------


## glimmering_candle

FEEELINg like sumthing deeep down in mee is anoyying my soul... :Frown: 
sumthing confused:s

----------


## Endurer

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm I can smell it in me, it's back, it's better, it's stronger; rage.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i'm feeling... hahah sick again... wo kya hai na k nazar bohat lagti hai :Big Grin:  kekeke

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^ hope you feel better :]

gaah..wish i hadn't of had to wait to take this exam - my mind isn't on it anymore..and its on Friday..yes I am royally screwed!!!

----------


## glimmering_candle

omg exams;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;


EXAMS suck...
n after the *season of love* :Big Grin: 


here comes *"SEASON OF EXAMS"*

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^UGH!!! I know...I did fairly well..but I have to retake one part of it..gaah..the one thing I actually reviewed..I have to take over again, go figure

----------


## glimmering_candle

:Frown:  thats terrible...

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^eeh...least I get a second chance and don't end up failing the semester, because of that  :Big Grin:

----------


## glimmering_candle

well... everything is terrible... only if it is about exams...:1:

----------


## Yawarkamal

i m feeling satisfied , energatic ,  & seeing my vision for life clearly...

----------


## Endurer

Hmm... how do I feel. I was probably looking for strength in all the wrong places before but now that I've found the right place, I feel strong and it kind of grows on me. In some weird way, I find strength in the way I am brought down and made to rise up on my own.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i m feeling a bit bored. :Frown:

----------


## Anxious Soul

Same here...

----------


## kaeel

Hi, i don't know if i am posting at the right place...
My name's Ashraf,male muslim, I am 18y/o and from singapore. Bumped onto this thread and I don't really know how to begin. I feel so devastated in life. I don't know what I am living for ; my purpose. The only way which i can convince myself is either by writing in my diary or telling it out to someone. But after coming  across this muslim forum, i just felt like sharing my burden with the world out there. I pray to allah and i can only convince myself that i'm living for the sake of my religion. I feel so detached from the world...
Not sure if it's because of school stress or is it just me...

----------


## RAHEN

welcome here kaeel..may be the stress is making you feel a detached person...take interest in any creative work..and hopefully this feeling will go..

----------


## Tulip

I am sick n tired of everything, life sucks!

----------


## kaeel

> welcome here kaeel..may be the stress is making you feel a detached person...take interest in any creative work..and hopefully this feeling will go..


Not true.. the feeling just worsens by the day. To be honest i'm a anti social person. I can't suit to the taste and likes of this world filled with infested minds. I just wish i can go over to an islamic state and live life there, surely i can lead a humble life there. I really envy people who live in a humble society...

----------


## Qambar

lil bit happy coz of weekend

----------


## RAHEN

> Not true.. the feeling just worsens by the day. To be honest i'm a anti social person. I can't suit to the taste and likes of this world filled with infested minds. I just wish i can go over to an islamic state and live life there, surely i can lead a humble life there. I really envy people who live in a humble society...


well thats best if you wanna lead a humble life...in an islamic state...btw..what is the majority of muslims in your country?

----------


## kaeel

You mean what type of muslims? In my country, the muslim is the minority population. It's dominated by the Chinese, and they suppress the muslims. People like me are just hapless.

----------


## NInA

> I haven't driven for fun since a very, very long time. Actually, it was a drive to cool off, but it was fun! Driving with my CD of old songs and then switching to an NSYNC CD .. I really had a blast. The sun was setting and it was exhilarating going down the highway watching it. 
> 
> I have blown my top. Why do people expect me to be selfless all of the time when they can't be themselves? They expect me to be happy and forgiving and loving 24/7. And why the hell does everyone give me advice instead of just shutting the hell up while I let off some steam? Why is that so damn difficult? I don't care what you think... if you can't tolerate the way I am then go away. I know that no one will ever love me the way I want them to. The one person I always thought would be with me has left me in the dust. No one will ever understand me. Another thing, it's always about you. And if, for one second, I talk about myself, I am automatically selfish and careless.  I don't care what you think. I'm done running after people and apologizing for no reason just so we can be happy together again. I'm done being the first person to take that first step. I honestly don't care anymore. When I talk about my life, people automatically assume they know everything. You don't know the half of it! I... just... don't... care. And now, I am free.
> 
> Take me away Superman!




*Why do people expect me to be selfless all of the time when they can't be themselves?*
- Because it's easier for "ppl" to get away with it. That's a fact nobody wants to acknowledge their bad side or see the crap they are full of. People want others to treat them like they are some superior creature and the world was created for them and them alone. 

*They expect me to be happy and forgiving and loving 24/7. And why the hell does everyone give me advice instead of just shutting the hell up while I let off some steam?* 

I like how John Gray describes men and women in his book "men are from mars and women are from venus" He describes men as being "Mr. Fix it" where they listen to a few beats of what could be bothering the girl, asses it in their own way and then start offerign solutions. While women, somehow head the Home Improvement Committee. Now he was referring to men and women in a relationship but I feel this largely holds true for relationships outside the typical marriage bond. 
It is true between friends too and siblings at times!! Hey I got 2 of em I know o.O So yeah hun abt the human nature u can't really change things and u can't really expect a change. You cannot expect the other person to not give you an advice when it's something innate. What you can do, however, is let the person know that you are saying it all becuz you feel you need to express your emotions before you take it out on someone or something else and you don't want any advice in return (haha see the irony, I just gave u an advice- can't help it Sorry) so yeah TELL THEM! 

*Why is that so damn difficult? I don't care what you think... if you can't tolerate the way I am then go away.*
You just answered your question in the second line. If you don't care to know what the other person thinks, you are causing them to suppress their feelings. But as you said you don't care.. so you see there's this conflict of expression and that creates a bigger conflict. Open up girly..
You can only see with open eyes
You can only hear with open ears and
You can only think with an open mind.. and once you actually think from the other person's perspective ... blv me all of the sudden it won't be difficult anymore! TRUST ME on this!! 

P.S> Tolerance only lasts for a lil while.. It doesn't last forever. Think think think.. kahin aisa to nahi keh u have been tolerating them and it's not vice versa? 
I know that no one will ever love me the way I want them to.

- Nobody knows what's inside someone's hearts. Only Allah swt holds that power. Don't judge .. don't expect (which I know you already don't) phir why am I hearing all this from you? 
Aur yeah hope.. umeed per dunya qaim hai.. Blv me there are a lot of ppl in the world who love you more than you can imagine.. there are ppl whos thoughts dun even cross your head in days perhaps weeks n months and they think abt u everyday! It's just maybe you are mistaken and ur running after those who don't love you as much as you do and you think that ppl occupying the rest of the planet are equally egocentric and full of crap. P.S. such ppl are not worth your time or thoughts! 

*The one person I always thought would be with me has left me in the dust.*

-Imagine if that one person was Allah. Would he have ever left you in the dust?? Point to ponder over... 

*No one will ever understand me.* 

- And you would? 

*Another thing, it's always about you. And if, for one second, I talk about myself, I am automatically selfish and careless.*

- Did you steal my words?? :P loll they sound soo mine  :Wink:  koi nahi compatibility bhi to 95% hai .. Hina is it really abt someone else? If ppl dun give you a chance and they can you selfish.. so what's wrong with it? Admit it.. be like yes I am Selfish! You know what the world is selfish.. you'd just be the one to break the ice and actually admit to it. Be Selfish .. cuz there is no other way out.. if you must live, if you must survive, BE SELFISH!!! 
Koi aur kuch kahe ya na kahe acknowledge kare is baat ko ya na.. just close your eyes and scream .. SAY IT OUT LOUD.. I am the queen of my own world.. It's about me.. it's always about me!!! ME ME ME ... 

and whats wrong with being careless once in a while? It's more fun this way.. :P Like today I slept in and guess what.. I was late for work.. supervisor se daant pari :$

*I don't care what you think. I'm done running after people and apologizing for no reason just so we can be happy together again.*
- You can't be happy if you run after ppl and apologize.. Tali aik haath se nahi bajti.. The effort shud be mutual. Happiness isnt something that you expect from ppl.. Allah is the one who gives you happiness.. you have to put in some effort from your side and leave the rest to Allah. May Allah make you the happiest person in the whole of world AMEEN. 

*I honestly don't care anymore. When I talk about my life, people automatically assume they know everything. You don't know the half of it! I... just... don't... care.* 

- Relax there girly that's a lot of Don't care there.. hmm Baby the truth is they do know everything about your life but they only know the who/what/where/when sometimes they why.. but what you want them to know is how you feel abt the 5Ws. Whether you have truly gotten over the past events.. perhaps there's something that you hold inside and you want to let that out. Unfortunately both of you are mistaken. You don't want to talk abt the events as much as the way you feel and they are only interested in the events and not much abt what you feel! So again conflict of interest there.. If anyone pretends they know too much abt u.. move on.. Dun waste your time with em. Get a friend who either knows nothing or a true friend who will listen to you for hours even when they know everything and abt how you feel. 

*And now, I am free.*

Yeah me too :P 


Regards,
Ninz

----------


## Tulip

how thoughtful of you nina..like ur explanation.

----------


## NInA

:Smile:  ... thanks Tulip  :Smile: 

Feeling content alhumdulilah (2 say da least)

----------


## Atlantic

well, I feel that i might end up doing something terrible wrong and stupid only because i think i should do it for merely no reason at all! But then, i might not do it. 
I just want what i want!

----------


## Endurer

Suicide? God forbid but that's the only thing I could think of. Whatever that stupid thing is, just don't do it. Look for safer alternatives instead.

----------


## NInA

Feeling numb right now. Itz dam freexing outside n halaaat r not gud at all of cph. Waiting for bus to get home!

----------


## kaeel

I am darn disappointed in myself today. I got my Year 12 results today. I did not do well, as in i got a 'D' instead of a 'B' which i was hoping for my 2nd Language. My non-Muslim classmates were bragging away their wonderful score and being overly exaggerating .Sometimes, I wonder if god is testing me or am I really fated to fail...

----------


## Atlantic

*better than worse.*




> I am darn disappointed in myself today. I got my Year 12 results today. I did not do well, as in i got a 'D' instead of a 'B' which i was hoping for my 2nd Language. My non-Muslim classmates were bragging away their wonderful score and being overly exaggerating .Sometimes, I wonder if god is testing me or am I really fated to fail...


Don't worry, be optomistic and try to identify your weaknesses. Inshallah you'll do better next time just figure out your weak points and work on improving them. U'll do well next time, inshallah.  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

> Suicide? God forbid but that's the only thing I could think of. Whatever that stupid thing is, just don't do it. Look for safer alternatives instead.


Well, i've put the feeling aside...at least for time being... i wont mention what it is. Thanks Endurer for helping out. 

feeling alhumdulilah better today.  :Smile:

----------


## EntangleDesi

I feel as if I miss him, but then the other part of me doesn't because I know that there isn't going to be an "us"

----------


## Endurer

> Well, i've put the feeling aside...at least for time being... i wont mention what it is. Thanks Endurer for helping out. 
> 
> feeling alhumdulilah better today.


mashAllah, thats good to hear sis.  :Smile:

----------


## Endurer

I still don't know what I want from life and I think I am making a grave mistake by allowing time to decide it for me.

----------


## NInA

Aaj kal her kissi se sunane ko milta hai kay usski problem sab say bari hai. Stop complaining and do something about it!!! Stop talking about stuff, rather put your plans in action!!! Stop blubbering about your halaat, be thankful to Allah for whatever you have and feel content!!! 

... Some ppl. just don't change, maybe it's a genetic problem (in their genes) or nature to always ignore/overlook the realistic facts of life. (Immature logon ki kami nai, universal is giving them a sign to wake up (the end of beautiful dream) and grow up, face the reality - the real world. Either you learn the easier way or the harder way)

... My motto " Either my way or (the)highway babay! I do things "moi" way!!! I don't take orders !!!

... Last but not least, I believe there is nothing better than a challenge, when you have to prove something. So alhumdulilah, Life is beautiful! I love challenges and i will try n try until i succeed! 

Wsalam

----------


## NInA

> I still don't know what I want from life and I think I am making a grave mistake by allowing time to decide it for me.


(tagging Endurer - Att. Read n Learn Topic)

----------


## Atlantic

> Aaj kal her kissi se sunane ko milta hai kay usski problem sab say bari hai. Stop complaining and do something about it!!! Stop talking about stuff, rather put your plans in action!!! Stop blubbering about your halaat, be thankful to Allah for whatever you have and feel content!!! 
> 
> ... Some ppl. just don't change, maybe it's a genetic problem (in their genes) or nature to always ignore/overlook the realistic facts of life. (Immature logon ki kami nai, universal is giving them a sign to wake up (the end of beautiful dream) and grow up, face the reality - the real world. Either you learn the easier way or the harder way)
> 
> ... My motto " Either my way or (the)highway babay! I do things "moi" way!!! I don't take orders !!!
> 
> ... Last but not least, I believe there is nothing better than a challenge, when you have to prove something. So alhumdulilah, Life is beautiful! I love challenges and i will try n try until i succeed! 
> 
> Wsalam


It's easier said than done Nina. If i were to follow your suggestions, i'll be back to where i was last week - and believe me that is a no-no and yet i wanted to do it sooo badly. Some people are just stubburn and they fail to see how they are destroying their family and their selves, they are sooooo self-centred, thinking what they are doing is for the good of everyone but it actually is for their own direct destruction and if i were to tell this to them, it will make no difference - i will remain invisible. Just becaue i am a good kid, doesn't mean i can be taken for granted...i've already spent two weeks in misery, pain, crying, and now i have bundle of mixed feelings - who should i turn to...feel so helpless - am i not hurt enough or am i just letting him ignore me - what the hell is going on???

----------


## RAHEN

well i also felt in one moment of my life...as a helpless lady...and that waz like...i have no options..and i decided...let ALLAH take the control...i know it waz against my wish...and thats the reason it hurted...but i also knew that it is my test..and i should pass...

----------


## Endurer

I feel good today for no obvious reasons whatsoever.

----------


## glimmering_candle

well now days m juz thinkin to tackl these 30 days... cuz after them there are...*EXAMS* :Big Grin:

----------


## Atlantic

> well i also felt in one moment of my life...as a helpless lady...and that waz like...i have no options..and i decided...let ALLAH take the control...i know it waz against my wish...and thats the reason it hurted...but i also knew that it is my test..and i should pass...


well, i've spoken to someone wiser and trustworthy - i will be following their advise and try this - if it works, it will change life to heaven...and if it does not work then one day that individual will lose me...for life. 

and the way things are, that day is not far.

But the tough thing is how do i do what i've been told to do. It's hard for me - for those who are reading this, please pray for me. My life is dependent on it and nina, you are right, it's not the worse, but it can definitely get worse from here.

----------


## Magic

> I am darn disappointed in myself today. I got my Year 12 results today. I did not do well, as in i got a 'D' instead of a 'B' which i was hoping for my 2nd Language. My non-Muslim classmates were bragging away their wonderful score and being overly exaggerating .Sometimes, I wonder if god is testing me or am I really fated to fail...


Marks have nothing to do with religion. Study more and you'll get better marks. Good luck for future.

----------


## Hina87

I'm upset that my school schedule messed up everything for this job I was about to get. I really wanted and needed this job. I guess it's back to the job searching boards for me.

----------


## RAHEN

candle ..best of luck for your exams :up;

atlantic: hope all your problems settle down to show you a bright new day..and yes sometimes we are not able to see what is behind the door...we act on what we see and believe...so i hope whatever you step for...it is best for you ...wish you all the best.

me doing good...thankfully.

----------


## Atlantic

> I'm upset that my school schedule messed up everything for this job I was about to get. I really wanted and needed this job. I guess it's back to the job searching boards for me.


Aslamoalikum Hina, how's my strawberry-shortcake?
I've missed you lots - but always prayed for you. :heart;
Don't worry - perhaps you will get a better job offer somewhere else. May b now is not the right time..you knwo when i was looking for a job, i had to give soooo many interviews...there was this place i really wanted to work but then it just never worked out and i was pretty upset too...but who knew down the raod i was going to get a job beyond my imagination..and i'm quite content with it today.  :Smile:  INshallah, things wil work out with you. How's your health???

----------


## Atlantic

> candle ..best of luck for your exams :up;
> 
> atlantic: hope all your problems settle down to show you a bright new day..and yes sometimes we are not able to see what is behind the door...we act on what we see and believe...so i hope whatever you step for...it is best for you ...wish you all the best.
> 
> me doing good...thankfully.


Thank you Rahen janu - i don't know it's my dream - i've been waitnig for it for three years - that is a long time and i've been patient for what i went through - and i'm at the stage where i demand this becomes reality - there is no room for me to accept refusal - i am going to fight for it and if it is not apprved this time - then it falls back to what i said a fews  days back: keep me or lose me, the decision is that individual's. Anyway, i have a hope it might work out this time around because i am seeing unexpected changes but then not everything changes...just have to wait and find out. Keep praying. Thank you  :Smile:

----------


## Hina87

> Aslamoalikum Hina, how's my strawberry-shortcake?
> I've missed you lots - but always prayed for you. :heart;
> Don't worry - perhaps you will get a better job offer somewhere else. May b now is not the right time..you knwo when i was looking for a job, i had to give soooo many interviews...there was this place i really wanted to work but then it just never worked out and i was pretty upset too...but who knew down the raod i was going to get a job beyond my imagination..and i'm quite content with it today.  INshallah, things wil work out with you. How's your health???


WaulaikumAssalaam. It's so great to see you back here! :kissing:
I've been fine. How are you? Anything new? Yeah... I've been trying very hard to find a good, steady job for months. I'm kind of sick of it.

----------


## RAHEN

> Thank you Rahen janu - i don't know it's my dream - i've been waitnig for it for three years - that is a long time and i've been patient for what i went through - and i'm at the stage where i demand this becomes reality - there is no room for me to accept refusal - i am going to fight for it and if it is not apprved this time - then it falls back to what i said a fews  days back: keep me or lose me, the decision is that individual's. Anyway, i have a hope it might work out this time around because i am seeing unexpected changes but then not everything changes...just have to wait and find out. Keep praying. Thank you



otay...wish you all the best..:up;
me feeling sleepy...but trying hard to stay awake.

----------


## friendlygal786

feeling sad...trying to keep myself bz, normal despite all the pain. Trying to listen to everyone and their advice even tho I just dont want to. Trying...

----------


## friendlygal786

> well, i've spoken to someone wiser and trustworthy - i will be following their advise and try this - if it works, it will change life to heaven...and if it does not work then one day that individual will lose me...for life. 
> 
> and the way things are, that day is not far.
> 
> But the tough thing is how do i do what i've been told to do. It's hard for me - for those who are reading this, please pray for me. My life is dependent on it and nina, you are right, it's not the worse, but it can definitely get worse from here.


inshALLAH i will pray for u sis..I pray u r released from any and all the hardships u r going thru and hope u get wat u deserve--happiness and peace

----------


## Atlantic

> WaulaikumAssalaam. It's so great to see you back here! :kissing:
> I've been fine. How are you? Anything new? Yeah... I've been trying very hard to find a good, steady job for months. I'm kind of sick of it.


i love you too Hina. xoxoxox
hmm, new - i'll send you a pm for that. 

don't worry jani u'll find a good job when it's the right time.  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

How do i feel today: Torn!

Life: life's like a question mark. "?" No one knows what it is and there is no real answer to it. It's round, has a straight line, and then a dot...and the circle is incomplete...like what is that supose to be? Again, a question mark!

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^ Life is just that..a question., never knowing exactly where it will lead us. I have learned not to question the route, but rather focus on the destination.

----------


## Tulip

you both are right about it. Atlantic...i pray that you get through this soon inshaAllah.

I was feeling exactly like you before...torn apart but it was a silly misunderstanding and alhamdulillah i am much better now. Last two days were very tough.

----------


## Hina87

> i love you too Hina. xoxoxox
> hmm, new - i'll send you a pm for that. 
> 
> don't worry jani u'll find a good job when it's the right time.


I hope you're right.  :Smile:  I'll be waiting for your PM.

Right now, I still feel the same. Nothing new.

----------


## friendlygal786

Nothing new here either, same old feelings that have eating away at me for the longest time. When they will go away and let me live I dont kno...it seems like that time will never come. Maybe I have done somthing to deserve all this hurt, I dont kno wat, but its possible

----------


## Tulip

hmm please don't feel like that, you don't deserve all this pain...no one does. I know it's hard to be optimistic when you are hurt and in pain but my friend maybe Allah has planned something better for us that we don't have an idea of...maybe what we want is not good for us..Allah is our creator and He certainly knows better than us. Insha Allah you'll get through this soon...insha Allah... I'll pray for you. Please don't make yourself feel you are worth that pain. Time is a healer and you'll get over it someday...

I know it's easy for me to say that...i am not trying to say it's easy for you but it's life...we have to move on and things get better at their own time.

----------


## friendlygal786

yea Inshallah sis, thanx 4 ur support :givefl;

----------


## Atlantic

> Nothing new here either, same old feelings that have eating away at me for the longest time. When they will go away and let me live I dont kno...it seems like that time will never come. Maybe I have done somthing to deserve all this hurt, I dont kno wat, but its possible


Hey friendlygal786, :givefl;don't feel bad. Be strong. It might be just a test from Allah - have patience you are a strong girl and you know that! Don't worry inshallah things will work out for you soon. Just be patient and deal with it in the best possible manner you can and be optomistic, believe in the positive changes and try to make things possible within your potential - inshallah, things will improve with time. Just be happy and don't stress yourself out. Give us all a big smile!  :Smile:

----------


## friendlygal786

aww...thank u Iqra sis 4 ur lovely support :givefl;  inshallah sab thek ho jaye I m praying

----------


## Atlantic

> aww...thank u Iqra sis 4 ur lovely support :givefl; inshallah sab thek ho jaye I m praying


 Now that's like it! :wink:

----------


## Endurer

I feel neglected and marginalized. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_

----------


## Tulip

I pray that all your problems vanish soon Endurer, aamin.

I feel awesome and rejuvenated tonight  :Smile:  It's always good to have your faith and confidence back. Thanks to my mate :wink; I love him so much.

----------


## friendlygal786

great to hear that sis  :Smile: 

Im feeling sick today..I hav no idea what it is, maybe a virus or somthing. Spent most of the day sleeping, but I think its gettin better now

----------


## Atlantic

Awee, take care of yourself Yasra sis.:kissing:
--------
I feel upset. 

I want to tell this person that they need to wake up and change their attitude towards things. they cannot continue to run after one individual and expect the things to get better -it's gone far beyond that. wake up- damn it!

So i just called them and i tell them that. their reply? they are going to continue to try their best. 

what the heck is this? You've spent all your life running after one individeual nd ignored the others - it's wrong. This is BS!!! 

am i invisible? I wanted to be there for you. i wanted to help you and i wanted you to be there with me for life - i wanted all your worries to go away and take care of you to the best of my ability but this approach of yours toward the life is making me think otherwise. You wont let go of this person and yet you want me to be good too? I"m tired of dealing with this, i am a human, i have feelings, i do get hurt and i need taken care of - it's hard for me as well to go through this and when i told you this - you attacked on me!?  i'm the chosen one to compromise on it and then it turned to i'm being rebellious!

have it the way you want it -  i don't love you as much as before and i wsh i get to the point where i don't love you at all. i don't want to care about anyone and i will not - i dont want to be here. You were the only one i had cared for - 

what am i donig in here? what am i supsoe to do - you refuse to listen to me, you wont let me live the way i want to - do i listen to you and obey yoru orders? what am i good for? Nothing! You know what? i cannot continue to listen to you complain about one thing when you are ignoring others over one -even if i were to die you would not give a damn.

I hate it!

----------


## Atlantic

i think i want to move out.

----------


## Tulip

Atlantic, I somehow understand your frustration and i wonder why some people just don't care...and if they are ever going to change or not.

Friendly...get well soon :giveflower;

----------


## Endurer

I feel energy crawling inside of me, asking me to do the right thing; get to work. Maybe, tomorrow.

----------


## friendlygal786

thanx Tulip.. :Smile:  Im better now, but feelin very lazy, hav a lot of work pending but cant quite motivate myself to get to it

----------


## Tulip

good that you are doing better friendly. I am feeling low right now.

----------


## Endurer

Feeling restless and I want to do something today.

----------


## friendlygal786

> good that you are doing better friendly. I am feeling low right now.


ohh, why wats wrong? anything serious

----------


## Hina87

I just feel tired I guess. Miss him too.

----------


## Endurer

I feel...strange.

----------


## Endurer

I still have to figure out a couple of things as far as my day is concerned. Besides that, two years have gone by and I am still stuck in this self imposed hiatus. _Posted via Mobile Device_

----------


## friendlygal786

Feel exhausted, didnt get any sleep last nite...was on the phone all night discussing and discussing!

----------


## Atlantic

Feeling depressed. 
I dont know what I want from life anymore. I am definitely not happy and I also dont know what can make me happy. I almost feel like whatever I want always gets taken away or I just never get it  I do try hard enough to get it but I just dont take it to extreme in getting what I want  thats just not me.

----------


## RAHEN

i m not doing things nowadays which are in my top priority list nowadays...how can i be so lazy...that i m keeping my responsibilities at bay...and doing nothing constructive at all...every plans are like digged...am i stressed..i dont think so...

----------


## Tulip

I am tired of people and their questions... why can't they keep their crap to themselves and leave others alone!

----------


## Atlantic

> i m not doing things nowadays which are in my top priority list nowadays...how can i be so lazy...that i m keeping my responsibilities at bay...and doing nothing constructive at all...every plans are like digged...am i stressed..i dont think so...


perhaps your priorities have chagned or are not so urgent anymore...or may be you are distracted.

----------


## porcelein_doll

i m feeling very disappointed and alone.as it  i m feeling from few months.watever i wanted in my life always snatched away with no reason. even not bcoz of my fault.dont know wat life want from me.no one understands wat i want.sometimes i feel i should die that will resolve all problems.

----------


## friendlygal786

> Feeling depressed. 
> I dont know what I want from life anymore. I am definitely not happy and I also dont know what can make me happy. I almost feel like whatever I want always gets taken away or I just never get it  I do try hard enough to get it but I just dont take it to extreme in getting what I want  thats just not me.


feeling the same...i understand ur feeling sis. Its frustrating, but atleast we can pray. One thing that helps me feel better is just forgetting my probs and feelings by just doing things for others, (family, friends, acquaintences) helping them, spending my time with them...just instead of feeling down doing things that make others happy. It makes me feel like at least i can do somthing 4 somone else, if im not happy..at least others are.

----------


## Atlantic

> i m feeling very disappointed and alone.as it i m feeling from few months.watever i wanted in my life always snatched away with no reason. even not bcoz of my fault.dont know wat life want from me.no one understands wat i want.sometimes i feel i should die that will resolve all problems.


Dear, that's no real solution. You need to talk things out and get to the bottom of the issue. There is always a reason why things happen the way they do.It's not meant to be understood at the moment, always, but sometime later on, you can understand better and assess the situation better than when you are part of it. Talk it out.

----------


## Atlantic

Thanks yasra sis for your support. 
Its hard to spend time with family, when they are part of the problem. 
It's like everyone i know or everywhere i look - they all are going through crises, be it for money, personal or what have you. I don't think it's entirely because of recession but perhaps lack of multiple things. For example, yesterday i got home right next to our building was the crime scene - a guy stabbed his wife, and then attacked onthe police and in return got shot and died. Less than two weeks a go, near my work place, a house went on fire with four ppl inside sleeping away. A woman died who was expecting, her 4 yr old son died - another woman died and one is in cricitical condition in hospital and then i have problems of my own and the people i love...i care about them and they have problems too. it's depressing but you know what the strange part is - i've been depressed too often in difference stanges of life,  i don't know if i should be bothered by it at all? i'm happy for two days and next four days are miserable.

----------


## RAHEN

> perhaps your priorities have chagned or are not so urgent anymore...or may be you are distracted.


priorities havenot changed...its just that i m distracted as usual...and everytime it brings time wastage...and at the moment i m trying to come out of it...or u can say i m almost out of it...hope you and yassi feel better..with the blessing of ALLAH.

*porcelein:* dont take it to your head yaar...calm down..it happens when we keep the status of our happiness in another person's hand or in material...if we didnot get it now...doesnot mean we will never get it...
if you dont get the things you want...may be you can look for and enjoy with those things that you already have..saying is easier..i know...but why not give a positive try.

----------


## Tulip

i am feeling happy and fresh today, shukar alhamdulilah

----------


## Atlantic

feeling kind of sad ...someone very dear to me might go away...(most likely) and i'm just really sad for this but if they do get to go away - they will be very happy, at least that is the hope. I love her so much  :Frown: ...i don't want her to go away.

not at least now...i really need her - how could this be allowed? 
But i also want her to be happy - she will not be there for me forever...and that's why i've encouranged her to do what will make her happy. 

I don't want her to go.  i'm just going to cry... i love her and i need her.

----------


## Tulip

Dun feel sad sis...:hug; Insha Allah everything happens for better, you'll be happy to see her happy and insha Allah u'll find someone there for you as well...

----------


## friendlygal786

nice to hear ur doin better Tulip sis...btw apka naam kya hai

and Iqra sis, I will pray for u..inshALLAH u will feel better, even tho it doesnt seem like it now, its very hard I know

----------


## Tulip

My name is Maryam, Friendly  :Smile:  What's your name?

----------


## Atlantic

aweee...you guys are so sweet : thanks Maryam sis and Yasra sis.  :Smile:

----------


## porcelein_doll

> feeling the same...i understand ur feeling sis. Its frustrating, but atleast we can pray. One thing that helps me feel better is just forgetting my probs and feelings by just doing things for others, (family, friends, acquaintences) helping them, spending my time with them...just instead of feeling down doing things that make others happy. It makes me feel like at least i can do somthing 4 somone else, if im not happy..at least others are.


thx sis. i like uur concern abt me.but to tell u its nt only the 1st time.in my 28yrs it happens everytime.sometimes i feel i m the most bad luck person in this world.although i try to b happy wid others.they dont feel wats inside me.but when i m alone in nite everything of my past and presnts come infornt of my eyes.it make me cry.and ask from Allah y always wid me?

----------


## RAHEN

ding dong bubble kha rahi hoon..feeling good...
any one?

----------


## Atlantic

yeah sure Rahen, bring it on!

feeling good today, alhumdulilah.  :Smile:

----------


## NInA

Alhumdulilah, feelin' orrite

----------


## RAHEN

> yeah sure Rahen, bring it on!
> 
> feeling good today, alhumdulilah.


mashaALLAH...here it is in this movie. :Big Grin:  
ChaltaTV.com - Pakistan's Premier Online Video Sharing Community - HILAL DING DONG BUBBLE - FAIRY STORY

----------


## Tulip

:lol; rahen...this is funny!  :Big Grin: 

I feel blessed and happy, shukar alhamdulillah.

----------


## friendlygal786

> My name is Maryam, Friendly  What's your name?


sis my name is Yasra

----------


## friendlygal786

> aweee...you guys are so sweet : thanks Maryam sis and Yasra sis.


ur welcome Iqra sis, anytime  :Smile:  so how r u doing,  feeling any better?

----------


## RAHEN

hehe...right tulip...funny hai..aur bahut sare bhi... :Stick Out Tongue:

----------


## Tulip

bohat sarey? ap bohat khati hain rahen?

alright Yasra sis, I'll call you by your name now =)

----------


## Endurer

It's a very strange feeling when you can't a) just ignore and walk out of that door or b) kick their asses to mars for patronizing you. I don't know, it's just too odd to fly off the extremes or to get roasted like turkey on thanksgivings day. Hmm maybe I shouldn't ruin someone else's day.

----------


## porcelein_doll

i m feeling v lonely today.

----------


## RAHEN

> bohat sarey? ap bohat khati hain rahen?


jab tak mere paas hai..almost 1 a day...i liked its taste...its nice...

doll: you dont have frnds?

me busy with going here and there...its time i should act maturely now...lekin mature log hote kaise hain...how to become one of them..need to search internet.

----------


## Tulip

Why do you feel the need to 'act' maturely rahen? Aren't you mature enough? and i guess maturity won't come by reading something about it. But I still want to know what makes you think like that? :s




> i m feeling v lonely today.


Why are you always feeling lonely porcelein_doll? You don't have anyone or you don't want anyone to be there with you?  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

> ur welcome Iqra sis, anytime  so how r u doing, feeling any better?


Hey Yasra sis, thank you for asking. Ji now i'm feeling much better, alhumdulilah. Just had a long weekend, it was too cold throughout...so didn't go out...but feeling better now - thank you for asking...how are you?

----------


## Atlantic

> mashaALLAH...here it is in this movie. 
> ChaltaTV.com - Pakistan's Premier Online Video Sharing Community - HILAL DING DONG BUBBLE - FAIRY STORY


LOL - that's funny, thanks for sharing fatima sis

----------


## Endurer

I feel good today.

----------


## porcelein_doll

> Why do you feel the need to 'act' maturely rahen? Aren't you mature enough? and i guess maturity won't come by reading something about it. But I still want to know what makes you think like that? :s
> 
> 
> Why are you always feeling lonely porcelein_doll? You don't have anyone or you don't want anyone to be there with you?


i dont know y i feel like this.i always wanted some1 to b wid  me.even i always need a sincere friend.but never get any:lonelys;.how and where can i find:elvis:

----------


## Atlantic

Hey Porcelein_doll, well, here at DT i'm sure you can make some friends...start by participating and i'm sure you won't feel lonely anymore..it will take time...but it's all fun here...so tell us about yourself.


-----

moi? upset at my boss...other than that, i'm feeling good today  :Smile:

----------


## EntangleDesi

Feeling Great... The museum was fun

----------


## Atlantic

i woke up with massive stomach ache, and my soar throat never seems to get better. 
Thank you stress.

----------


## porcelein_doll

> Hey Porcelein_doll, well, here at DT i'm sure you can make some friends...start by participating and i'm sure you won't feel lonely anymore..it will take time...but it's all fun here...so tell us about yourself.
> 
> 
> -----
> 
> moi? upset at my boss...other than that, i'm feeling good today


hi atlantic.thx for ur reply.i m from pakistan.i have completed my studies so free at home. :Smile:

----------


## EntangleDesi

Today was soo much fun!!! Throats sorta gone from ALL that screaming, but so worth it :]

OOH yes, the looks we got from the aunties and uncles...freakin' love it - don't be jealous cause we know all the ol' school b'wood songs and were sitting there singing them ALL proudly :P

----------


## Atlantic

> hi atlantic.thx for ur reply.i m from pakistan.i have completed my studies so free at home.


that cool. So what is next? are you interested in finding a job? pursue further education? or...

----

feeling ok.

----------


## porcelein_doll

> that cool. So what is next? are you interested in finding a job? pursue further education? or...
> 
> ----
> 
> feeling ok.


hi atlantic.i dont want to do job.but always wanted to study more and more.but as i m still single.my father refused to study me furthur.he wants me to get marry as soon as possible.so lets see wat will b next :Big Grin: 
BTW wat do u do atlantic?

----------


## EntangleDesi

I wish it were the weekend all over again  :Big Grin:  minus the heels :P

----------


## RAHEN

the headache is over...feeeling good...

----------


## Yawarkamal

thats great rahen ,keep rest and take care...

----------


## EntangleDesi

the more i keep thinking about/looking at the _result_, the want to be disappointed lessens more and more - in fact, it's been thrown out, disregarded and replaced with the feeling of wanting to be near/with the _subject_.

first impressions really do leave a lasting impression.

----------


## EntangleDesi

AHH memories..good times..but now looking back on those threads..I can't help but give a little chuckle at our sillyness...but boy was I the flirt :O...I miss those guys though...fun times

----------


## Atlantic

> hi atlantic.i dont want to do job.but always wanted to study more and more.but as i m still single.my father refused to study me furthur.he wants me to get marry as soon as possible.so lets see wat will b next
> BTW wat do u do atlantic?


hey porcelein_doll - let's carry on in Talk Desi - i'll post a reply there. 

---------

have been going through massive stomach aches - doc said it can lead to stomach ulcer if continues --- i can't figure out what i can do to relieve my stress.  :Frown:

----------


## porcelein_doll

hi atlantic.how to talk in  desi talk?i dont have any idea.can u tell me?

----------


## EntangleDesi

Serioulsy? The moment I don't feel like being all joyful and happy sappy, something must be up? WTF, did you consider that maybe I just don't want to be bothered? It's perfectly fine when you have your off days, and we know you have plenty of those, but the one day I do... What bullshit is that???

----------


## Endurer

The last two days shaked me up a bit but things are great now so I feel happy.

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

HHHAAPPYYYY!!!:yahoo:

----------


## Endurer

/rant: I hate it when our visiting auditors drag politics and religion into the office. Besides weather -- musharraf, zardari, and Islam seem to break the ice for them. I feel like inviting them over to freedom corner for a fact check but guess these cave dwellers are too naive to think it through.

Off to watch _the international_ or _hes just not that into you_.

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^the last movie, is pretty disappointing IMO..it's pretty predictable all throughout

It's such a nice day to be out...only for a shortwhile though..the sun is BLAZING!!!

20 questions and then test time!!! YAAY!! another lesson done..and hundreds of pages less to read

----------


## Endurer

^ I watched the international and it was totally last century stuff. I have the latter on my PC so off to watch it now and I really hope it'll help me kill some time.

----------


## EntangleDesi

Inspired to do something - too bad it's almost 3 am and my mind/brain is already on sleep mode...I should take that as a sign to get into bed..and carry on with the inspiration tomorrow

----------


## Tulip

:lol; righto gal  :Wink: 

I am tensed and a bit nervous right now..

----------


## Atlantic

feeling good.  :Smile:

----------


## Tulip

pissed off right now. and v sleepy.

----------


## Endurer

I feel like i am walking a tight rope, without a circus net, i am popping percocets, i am a nervous wreck. I deserve respect; but I work a sweat for this worthless check. About to burst this tech at somebody to reverse this debt. Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged; full of venom and rage, especially when I'm engaged - mnm

----------


## EntangleDesi

Had a conversation with a stranger today - and let me tell you it felt good...I have no idea who he is, but could just be a new friend in the making

----------


## Atlantic

strangely enough, i went through the same thing this morning, EntangleDesi.
but i doubt the friendship part for myself, it just happens too often when people - let me be more precise, strangers come up and we have a good chat and then...that's it. Not that i want people to be sticking around...but when you have a once in a while kind of a really good chat..and then it goes no where...that sucks.

----------


## RAHEN

i try to catch a small fish in my hands...lekin har baar woh mere hath se nikal jati hai...
thats how im feeling.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i m feeling like im living the most difficult part of my life

----------


## EntangleDesi

> strangely enough, i went through the same thing this morning, EntangleDesi.
> but i doubt the friendship part for myself, it just happens too often when people - let me be more precise, strangers come up and we have a good chat and then...that's it. Not that i want people to be sticking around...but when you have a once in a while kind of a really good chat..and then it goes no where...that sucks.


even then having that moment is still the greatest feeling in the world - its something we carry on in our days and just brings a good though to mind, no matter how short or long the conversation was or how far it went on from there

----------


## Atlantic

i agree ED. 

feeling so so.

----------


## Endurer

Under a tremendous amount of pressure right now and it has left me to flounder.

----------


## Atlantic

feeling ok.

----------


## Rockkker

Feel like a broken mirror.

----------


## porcelein_doll

i m feeling like i m lost somewhere..where there is no way of comming back.

----------


## porcelein_doll

i m feeling like i m lost somewhere..where there is no way of coming back.

----------


## Atlantic

i think i'm going to lose my job. 
There were major mistakes made. Half of them is not entirely my fault but other half is. These are major mistakes. Why they happened? 
The first half of them happened because i was not trained. Half of other half was my collegue's fault. Half of that was mine.  

I didn't want to lose my job - that's another story that i had been looking to quit it. 

To put it all in simple words we both are responsible for it in halfs: negligence. 

The question is who should lose the job?
My fair solution: I.  

I never wanted to go like this but if it's meant to be...no one can stop it. 
I rather lose my job then the person who is part to it.  I can recover from my damages but the other person can't. It sucks...

But i pray we dont have to leave it just because the fair cause is we both are responsible for it equally. 
A merciful solution would be: we both work at it to fix it. 

If one has to go, it rather be me.

----------


## Atlantic

ok. Now that i have thoroughly reviewed all the errors - i'm not at entirely at fault. phew!!! what a relief! 

However, my buddy over here has made at least one major mistake. 
But i'm sure we'll come up with the solution. I really hope so. 

Thank Godl!!!

----------


## porcelein_doll

i m feeling depressed today

----------


## Atlantic

today is a miserable.  :Frown:

----------


## Rockkker

Feel sleepy, but dont want to sleep..  :Stick Out Tongue:

----------


## Atlantic

having a terrible day. 
It's so damn hard to fix the mistakes without making more. the help is limited and the helper is intimidating.

----------


## **Veil**

we copying hina87 , this what i feel and seems life is taking us no where at all 

Many things have changed and yet, I still want to die. I guess the things I have really wanted have not changed. I don't have much optimism that those things will end up being positive anytime soon... realistically speaking of course.

----------


## Atlantic

feeling alright. Just a bit worried for a friend and her well-being.

----------


## Rockkker

Missing her, like always :'(

----------


## EntangleDesi

Stressed/frustrated..it's almost as if no matter how hard I actually try nothing comes of it/works out or worse yet they don't see/believe that I am actually trying...I don't need the guilt trips...I just wish I knew of a way to get what I need and something would just come along...

----------


## Atlantic

feeling a bit sad and down and neglected by someone i care a lot about. 
i guess i just annoyed the hell out of them.  :Frown:

----------


## RAHEN

what happened Atlantic?

feeling good..i m acheiving what i wanted...that is to use my knowledge for the benefit of ppl and my self...to learn new things...meet new ppl.

----------


## Atlantic

enh...nothing seroius Rahen sis. 
It will all work out. You know the feeling when you are down and you find someone who carse about you...then you almost start depending on them, in the sense you share your rough and tough - the good and bad...and then..they withdraw their support. Making you feel stupid for depending on them...
but it will be okay. 

----

Mashallah sis  - happy for your achievements! 
congratulations!!! May god bless you  :Smile:  xoxox

----------


## RAHEN

nice thing you told...atlantic...
feeling so sad for the jet drop by radar...bad news...

----------


## Rockkker

Is feeling scared. Saw her profile on fb. Msged her. Hope she says yes. :'(((

----------


## Atlantic

One of my collegue's just found out today that her neighbour has been diagnosed with swine flu and is now hospitalized. The collegue, has been sick for almost a month now, on and off...and meanwhile, we all the office staff has been sick too, on and off but nothing with serious symptoms of swine flue. Now she's gone for check-up ---- i hope she doesn't have it. Kind of freaking out.  :Frown:

----------


## Atlantic

weekend was not good. I was bored as hell. The weather was gloomy and cold. 

I got in an argument with a best-friend. A friend whom I love as anything (and she said she does too) and yet she seems to be so naive and ignorant of it. Told her...we can't run it like this...either its there or its not. I feel as if I was bothering her while I was talking to her. As if i needed her more until she made it look that way but it doesnt mean she has to be reserved all the time. I thought we could share things with each other. So she says, well make a deal and Ill open up more too .To hell with it
There is no compulsion in friendship...you spend time together you talk to one another  because you feel like it and this is what you felt like doing...there is no agreement. 
Perhaps i thought we had that understanding but i guess it was only me. Stupid enough of me to depend on her...and yet she says...it's okay and i can depend on her.while she has nothing to share.. I can go back to being myself..and dn't need her to rely on... She doesn't need anybody...because she thinks she's so tough and strong or either she must be thinking Im not mentally compatible to give her support. Be it!

I can be reserved too but the sad part is..she will not even feel the difference and it will be okay.

----------


## glimmering_candle

i was feeling a bir tired today

----------


## Atlantic

i am not entirely satisfied with this phase of life. 
There is just too much confusion and too much happening without much control over the things. I almost feel as if i am not sure what i want anymore and if i do, could it be actually possible to make it a reality? Then there is personal associations and relationships, suffering. How much do i want myself involved in all the stuff that's happening? Am i involved at all - there's just too much on my mind...and no answers...no explanations..no reliability...kind of lost and this crying every now and then is not helping either.

..and where's everybody?  :Frown:

----------


## EntangleDesi

I'm still not too sure if this is even what I want to be going, but right now this is my main focus..

----------


## EntangleDesi

Had one of the best nights out on Saturday with the girls/guys...dancing, drinking, and talking till 6 am..
Looking forward to more nights as such...

Felt great to be free..carefree, with no worries..just having an amazing time with close friends and new friends :]

----------


## Endurer

I am kind of (for the lack of a better term) lost. My view of the whole world has changed abruptly again and I can't make sense of anything at all. Of course, I am in turmoil, thanks to the support that I've been getting from those who vowed to do so in good times or bad. Not that I am holding it against them but I really don't think I will be to able to forget this.

PS: Linkin Park is coming to do a concert here pretty soon and it's gonna be the first time I get to see them perform live. Oh and I missed Kelly Clarkson's three day tour.

----------


## EntangleDesi

I really hope this job comes through..even though it'll probably only end up being a part time retail job, at this point anything is better than nothing..

I hate seeing my bank account keep depleting day after day, especially when the money doesn't even go into anything personal for me..it all goes into bills.


Plus, I wanna save up money so I can take a damn vacation somewhere...

----------


## RAHEN

feeling fresh...and waiting for mangoes...happy with my present life...its like dream come true... :Big Grin:

----------


## Endurer

> I really hope this job comes through..even though it'll probably only end up being a part time retail job, at this point anything is better than nothing..
> 
> *I hate seeing my bank account keep depleting day after day, especially when the money doesn't even go into anything personal for me..it all goes into bills.*
> 
> 
> Plus, I wanna save up money so I can take a damn vacation somewhere...


Hate that feeling particularly because I have to pay for stuff I don't find useful anymore. Oh and the @#$#EWE contracts!

----------


## EntangleDesi

I guess it wasn't meant to be..as discouraging it is, I have to keep hope alive - there are bigger and better things out there for me...Must be positive, getting/feeling down won't help me any

..But dammit I so wanted to cry yesterday...[and no, no sad feelings..It just hurt like a mother F] or worse yet just curse some major explicit words...my poor toe  :Frown: ..that stupid metal signage at the store..GRRR


My toe is freaking HUGE..this ice bag on top of it..better help some!!!

----------


## EntangleDesi

Thank you for showing me how much of a hypocrite you are...You've spent countless times accusing me of doing just what you have done - going through something that isn't yours..You have no right nor is it any of your business. 
Excuse my language, but I am f'in livid. 
Thank you for letting me know that I cannot trust you when I am away.

Not only did you go through my things, you've also went ahead and gave yourself permission to take what isn't yours...and put yourself in my business

You've taken clothes out of my closet and "put" them back when I wasn't around..but this is far beyond that...The papers clearly have been addressed to me and is my business

You do know that this is only going to lead me to hide even those things that I never would of imagined.

I'm tired of being treated as that little kid that existed years ago...you have no control over me...As much as I appreciate everything that you have done for me, you just have no right..


Thank you for ruining my night and day...I hope you had a great day...I sure didn't, but I am glad that your are away till evening...I'd rather not be around you..

You have no idea how much I hated being cordial to you last night..you haven't admitted or brought it up yet, but I know you will and not only that you will go on to tell others my business.

----------


## RAHEN

a baby has brought the missing charm in the house...its so good to see my nephew with all his acts and smiles..

----------


## pshah

LMFAO...

[youtubevid]xdGGnsLvWVE[/youtubevid]

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^WTF!!! does that have to do with this topic ??


Could you be any damn slower..r-e-a-l-l-y!!! I've seen snails run quicker than you, and they don't even run..What has come of me? I'm dissing a machine...a freakin' MACHINE!!!

----------


## RAHEN

just roaming around in the sites...willing to take panga...

----------


## EntangleDesi

You just have to come off, don't you? 
I had faith in you...I was hoping that you wouldn't come loose, on the verge of just falling off; but no, you're going to come off. 
Who knows how long it will take for you to come back?

What awful timing!!! I wouldn't have minded as much if it were the colder months..
Guess I will be having to rock the band-aid over you while you take your time to come back...Just don't take forever :]

----------


## RAHEN

feeling awful...all because of tea...

----------


## glimmering_candle

feeeling a bit...lonely

----------


## Endurer

I feel as if it's how everything is meant to be.

----------


## waffa

alone . . . .

----------


## EntangleDesi

There's just something about you that I'll never wrap my head around.

----------


## RAHEN

just had a milk which has started to get soar..and it simply made my taste yuckky..

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

^^ LOL!!!hahahha :Big Grin: 

uuhhh...ALONE...LONELY...
like seriously!!
and yeah...feel like a piece ov crap =(

----------


## RAHEN

and what has made your luck so down...lol
inspired by movie luck

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

^^ LMFAO!!
rahen what was that?? :Big Grin: 
aaahhh u know!!!all the stupid people!!
who take u for granted nd all
life seriously suxxxx =(

----------


## EntangleDesi

8 more pages and 30 questions to go..I can do this... Only if it weren't so uninteresting at this point...Can't wait till Thursday :]...LOL at the obsession over the Eminen vs. M.C. beef and Nick Cannon wanting to get in on it

----------


## RAHEN

> ^^ LMFAO!!
> rahen what was that??
> aaahhh u know!!!all the stupid people!!
> who take u for granted nd all
> life seriously suxxxx =(


that waz on my luck...what made it so down that i m jobless now. :Big Grin: .. :Stick Out Tongue: lay_ball:

----------


## EntangleDesi

Shit yaar...I have a crap load of things to do on Monday...DAMM!!!

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

shit yaar <<< LMFAO!!!
straight out ov desi land yo  :Stick Out Tongue:

----------


## Endurer

I feel free, at least for now.

----------


## EntangleDesi

You're working on my last nerves. No, let me correct that, you've passed my last nerve, but with control I have no gone off on you. Could you stop being so obsessive, which in turn makes you very annoying??? It's not a very attractive quality in a person. It also comes off as being very childish - grow the F up!!

----------


## Santosh_f

Feeling funny!!!
I dont know how many people feel that I feel funny.I like drinking Hot tea with Ice float(Coke) in it. That even Weird isn it?

----------


## EntangleDesi

...Good Lucky buddy  :Wink:  ...You don't even know this but your arse has been rejected and kicked out for good..Did you really believe that I was going to let you in? Like I said before, could you be any more obsessive?

----------


## Yawarkamal

hi buddies , 

 Today something happen to me , somebody ask me something about someone, i m wondering this before that this thing happen one day.i think i m totaly against it , i m confused...what to say or what to do...

I will give u hint , this descion or solution for this problem my life depends on it...:sad2:

I wish ALLAH sub behtar kry...

----------


## EntangleDesi

^If you're not feeling it don't do it..Just say that you don't want to do it..It will be better for not just you, but everyone else also, by saying how you feel about it, no matter how others may take it..

And if you aren't sure of your decision-take time out for yourself and think about it..ignoring all the outside influences

----------


## RAHEN

i agree with her yawarkamal...

----------


## Yawarkamal

Thanks EntangleDesi & Rahen , yes i dont want to do it ...99%

Thanks again for the advoice..

----------


## Tulip

I hope things work out for the better Yawar. God Bless.

----------


## Yawarkamal

Yaa , thanks , everything still on silent mood , lets see whats next...


BYE

----------


## EntangleDesi

What the Fred Flinstone!!! Did he seriously think that I would say yes or even be interest? And stop calling me babe/baby...UGH!!!so annoying! BTW, your attempts at being flirty aren't working..try getting some new pick up lines, even though I still wouldn't be interested in you, not now, not ever...

Can one show up that I don't have to reject?

----------


## EntangleDesi

> well baby, u just know how to blow me off my feet aye. u know wat words i need to read


Errrr...Scooby Snacks!!! What the brussel sprouts is he talking about? Now, that was just a horrible pick-up line. Especially since I had nothing in my response that would make one think I would be interested.

And you say your sixth sense is telling you that I will change my mind? You so need to go get another sixth sense, that tells you the truth..It ain't ever going to happen..

I may seem shallow, I'm not though, but there is no physically attraction or any thing that pulls me towards you, even mentally

----------


## EntangleDesi

I think I'm over "you" and I'm perfectly content with that. I haven't forgotten you nor will I ever be able too, besides I don't want to or have to :]


On another note, I can't wait for tomorrow :] It's gonna be a great day with the girls  :Big Grin:

----------


## EntangleDesi

^I was so wrong, I am so not over you. I would say that it's frustrating, but it isn't. You are stuck in my heart/mind.

----------


## Endurer

^ Change of heart?

I feel like going to a distant place (woods maybe) on this little territory, I feel like running away. The day is one of those three damned days that I don't want.

----------


## EntangleDesi

^Not really..I just keep trying to convince myself that I should just get over "him" because reality keeps hitting me

----------


## Yawarkamal

I M happy today...

----------


## EntangleDesi

It sounds like the perfect opportunity..but the time + gas I would need for this opportunity keeps telling me that I just need to let this one go. Good as the experience would be, I simply just cannot afford it. The location has me doubting if I should even consider going there on a weekly + basis too. Hopefully the Cool Girls and Computers for Youth volunteer opportunities become something in the coming months and lead to more opportunities. I just wish this was a tad bit easier.

----------


## Visual Dream

is pal me jo maza hy may be agley pal me na ho
is pal me jo khushi hy may be agley pal me na ho
is pal me jo gham dil-e-jan ko laga hy may be next pal wo na ho
is pal me jo tamanna hy may be next pal me wo hasrat ban gai ho or then wo puri ho gai ho
but
i am 100 and 1 per sent sure
my feature most be brightlight and hopeful.

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

everything is so messed up. and confusing..
wish there was a way...to know how others think/feel...without putting yourself down and ruining whatever little you have
is there a way? to know EXACTLY what matters?

----------


## RAHEN

i think the self can tell that better...what matters to one the most...those confusions keep clicking in minds of many...

----------


## EntangleDesi

> everything is so messed up. and confusing..
> wish there was a way...to know how others think/feel...without putting yourself down and ruining whatever little you have
> is there a way? to know EXACTLY what matters?



[[hugs]] hope all is well

Ahhh, but life just loves being complicated doesn't it? Even if we could know others thoughts/feelings it still couldn't make life any easier.It's difficult to understand/know how others think/feel without having gone through the same experience, but even then everyone's thinking/feeling are different. Infact, It would probably make it even more confusing. I think if we knew exactly what matters and lays ahead of us life would be rather boring, everything would already be done. We wouldn't get to experience and grow

----------


## Endurer

I still feel the same.

----------


## villies

am feeling sick

----------


## Yawarkamal

Hi buddies , nobody knows that how much alone i m ...

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

> i think the self can tell that better...what matters to one the most...those confusions keep clicking in minds of many...


yes but what if we miss out on something good between all the confusion in hope of something better..and that BETTER turns out to be something WORSE or totally WORTHLESS!!!




> [[hugs]] hope all is well
> 
> Ahhh, but life just loves being complicated doesn't it? Even if we could know others thoughts/feelings it still couldn't make life any easier.It's difficult to understand/know how others think/feel without having gone through the same experience, but even then everyone's thinking/feeling are different. Infact, It would probably make it even more confusing. I think if we knew exactly what matters and lays ahead of us life would be rather boring, everything would already be done. We wouldn't get to experience and grow


aaawww...*hugz*
well if people could at least be a little more straight forward and said exactly what they felt instead of dropping hints and leave you hanging..and make you miss out on your time to MOVE ON...it would be a LOT easier..
do you think risking something GOOD in hope of something BETTER is worth it??

----------


## EntangleDesi

^In a way yes and no. It's one of those things that has no definite answer, until you take or don't take that risk, one will never know. It's a difficult choice having to make but its one of those things you have to risk doing. It won't always give us the result we'd want/wish for, but you will come out with something - a better understanding of what you should do the next time around in the same situation. If we are never to take that risk of losing what we do have, we'll never know just what more we could get. If we take the risk we will question whether or not that was the right choice to make; and if we don't take the risk we will question if we should have taken the risk.
Sometimes it's better to risk losing the good for the hopes of something better, cause you just never know what can come along.

I know it can be especially disheartening when you are left clueless and confused, especially when people leave you with more questions than before.

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

> I know it can be especially disheartening when you are left clueless and confused, especially when people leave you with more questions than before.


this right here is what im afraid of
what if in hope of something BETTER i end up with something WORSE?
yes i know there is no definite answer..but i guess its just a little debate with myself..
but as humans we never settle for less..and want to risk whatever we have for something BETTER...and then forget BETTER...we lose the GOOD we had..
what if that RISK doesnt do any good at ALL??
i guess i should stick to my GOOD =(

----------


## EntangleDesi

> this right here is what im afraid of
> what if in hope of something BETTER i end up with something WORSE?
> yes i know there is no definite answer..but i guess its just a little debate with myself..
> but as humans we never settle for less..and want to risk whatever we have for something BETTER...and then forget BETTER...we lose the GOOD we had..
> what if that RISK doesnt do any good at ALL??
> i guess i should stick to my GOOD =(


It's risk you have to risk taking. Choosing to just stay with the good or take the chance of risking it to either get something better or losing it is something you have to evaluate depending on the situation. Each one has a different way of going about it.

You might lose the good and get something worse and while it probably will bring you down and break you apart; at the same time without you even realizing it it will have you growing stronger and better. You won't see it at first, but as time goes it will become clear.

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

hhhmmmm
so you're saying i should take the risk?
because whatever the immediate consequences will be...long term result wont hurt?

----------


## HOP3_L3SS

ok m off now!!
need to wake up in 3 hourz =S
bye bye! =)
and yeah
TTHHAANNKK YYOOUU!! =D

----------


## EntangleDesi

> hhhmmmm
> so you're saying i should take the risk?
> because whatever the immediate consequences will be...long term result wont hurt?


It all depends on what the situation is and what you are taking a risk in. I can't give you a yes or no answer. It's hard, until I know the situation and know what you are risking I can only give a general opinion. 

Depending on the consequences the results could either be short term or long term and might hurt more than we'd like but sometimes, especially in life, we have to take the hurt to get to the 'better' - it just might take more work/time.

----------


## Endurer

I feel enslaved, thanks to this combo of two making a wreck of it all.

----------


## coolshoaib

Feeling a little tired today due the lots of traveling.

----------


## Endurer

Makes me wonder whether you had your reasons for abandoning us or whether it was a matter of being free to do things the way you wanted them done. One way or another, I would very much like you (or your thoughts, for that matter) to leave me alone. Trust me, you have done enough damage already. It pains me to see me following you in every step of the way in my day to day life. To make matters worse, you took my faith with you. 

Now who do I believe in? God? While I know that he exists, I just don't see a connection between us. Just like YOU!

----------


## Hina87

Wow! It's been centuries since I've been here. A lot has changed since I was a regular. The drama and insanity that was DT. I guess I don't have time for it anymore now that I'm so busy. I actually feel incredibly old because I just go to school and work all of the time. 

Well, how is everyone?  :Smile:

----------


## EntangleDesi

Seriously, I am not a punching bag. You cannot expect to be able to take out your frustrations on me and not expect me to react or blow up. And don't expect me to be able to butter you up either - I can't do it. I don't know how to nor does it feel right.

----------


## friendlygal786

Hi everyone...Hinaaaa so nice to c u here too, I havent been here in ages either, missed u Dolly :kiss1:
Feeling just confuuuuuused...somthings never change  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

> Makes me wonder whether you had your reasons for abandoning us or whether it was a matter of being free to do things the way you wanted them done. One way or another, I would very much like you (or your thoughts, for that matter) to leave me alone. Trust me, you have done enough damage already. It pains me to see me following you in every step of the way in my day to day life. To make matters worse, you took my faith with you. 
> 
> Now who do I believe in? God? While I know that he exists, I just don't see a connection between us. Just like YOU!



Strangely enough...feeling the same.
I tried to do good out of my sincere intentions. but the outcome backfired and I got in deeper trouble just for doing good and to give someone 1 day of happiness. They got the happiness and what did I get...BS from everyone else. Though you got what I wanted to give you  and even if I were to get BS from everyone else in return it would have been finebut my mental state is wrecked and I feel hurt and taken advantage of because you pretended to be someone to gain back my friendship. 

Other than that, just feeling depressed. Seems like each time the depression comes, it's in its worst stage. I never thought I would be told by someone to seek help and get some meds. Like that's ever happening. Just trying to engage myself in other activities to keep away from depression and having to see a doc. I absolutely cannot handle what life is throwing at me right now and it's taking its toll out on me. Just want to give up. I hate it all. Losing my faith in God. Dont want to end up where I once used to wonder how people end up there. I feel like life has become a whirlpool and Im just being sucked inside it with no way for coming outI need someone to pull me out. Tried leaning over someone and ended up hurting their feelings and in a big fightthings are ok now but really I am not okay.

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^Trust me as much as you wish for someone to pull you out, you won't be able to get yourself away from all the troubles surrounding you until you are ready yourself to get out of there on your own. Having someone there to help you give you the push is only the beginning of getting out of your own depression. I've been there. 
There comes a point when you say enough is enough and break away from the chains. 
It's perfectly normally to be feeling the way you are and questioning all that you are...You'll want to give up, and that's perfectly fine to - sometimes you have to give yourself that break from life.
Much of what goes on in our lives we don't understand why it's happening or why it's happening to us, now. Just know that you are not alone. And while you may feel that you are losing faith in God, know that he's right there along with you - may not feel like it, but he is.

----------


## Hina87

Hi Yasra sis.  :Smile:  How are you doing? Missed you too.  :Smile:

----------


## Yawarkamal

hi , hina , friendlygal and atlantic what a entry together , Welcome ...

Feeling HAppy ...I am going on vecation soon...

----------


## Atlantic

> hi , hina , friendlygal and atlantic what a entry together , Welcome ...
> 
> Feeling HAppy ...I am going on vecation soon...


 
awe, thank you Yawrkamal! where r u going to for vacation?

-----

thank you ED for your support...makes a difference.

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^I've been there..For me, since I was unable to tell someone how I felt, I found that writing out my feelings in a journal helped me cope with my depression

----------


## Yawarkamal

> awe, thank you Yawrkamal! where r u going to for vacation?
> 
> -----
> 
> thank you ED for your support...makes a difference.


 Ur welcome dear , ofcourse  MY beautiful COUNTRY and my FAMILY , MY CITY MY VILLAGE < EVERYTHIng i m missing i visit there..PAKISTAN:excite;

----------


## Atlantic

well, have a spectacular time Yawarkamal!
---
me hit by depression again! Not too bad but just not very happy right now. I'm tired of falling into depression over and over ...why can't things be normal. I hate going through this feeling. Yes, i know what the issue is and what is bothering me but i don't know how to fix it.

----------


## EntangleDesi

^ [[hugs]] Things will get better. You just have make sure you keep a positive attitude through all of this.


UGH. I'm just so over this. I'm tired of having to constantly put myself out there and having to keep looking, only to be turned away. I'm tired of not having all the qualifications or experience they are looking for/need or being good enough because of some stupid 'personality' test...How does that prove what I am capable of doing/learning? It's just frustrating/disheartening when your efforts go unnoticed or don't get any positive results back. 
And I just wish I had the slightest idea what I wanted to do career-wise once I'm finished with this degree...So that I could start concentrating on getting more experience with that.

----------


## Atlantic

> ^ [[hugs]] Things will get better. You just have make sure you keep a positive attitude through all of this.
> 
> 
> UGH. I'm just so over this. I'm tired of having to constantly put myself out there and having to keep looking, only to be turned away. I'm tired of not having all the qualifications or experience they are looking for/need or being good enough because of some stupid 'personality' test...How does that prove what I am capable of doing/learning? It's just frustrating/disheartening when your efforts go unnoticed or don't get any positive results back. 
> And I just wish I had the slightest idea what I wanted to do career-wise once I'm finished with this degree...So that I could start concentrating on getting more experience with that.


Hey, ED, give it some time. :hug1: It is the challenge. You must go through this. I have been there, it's not easy looking for a job and then be turned down, repeatedly that is. It's very discouraging. But, it's our test of patience. Hang in there, while you are going through this phase, you are learning a lot. You are learning and experiencing what's out there and how to look right.  It's affecting your personality too. It's tough but good. Keep trying but don't over kill yourself. Above all,  have faith. You will find something of your choice, when it's the right time. Don't be discouraged. Take it easy.

----------


## EntangleDesi

> Hey, ED, give it some time. :hug1: It is the challenge. You must go through this. I have been there, it's not easy looking for a job and then be turned down, repeatedly that is. It's very discouraging. But, it's our test of patience. Hang in there, while you are going through this phase, you are learning a lot. You are learning and experiencing what's out there and how to look right.  It's affecting your personality too. It's tough but good. Keep trying but don't over kill yourself. Above all,  have faith. You will find something of your choice, when it's the right time. Don't be discouraged. Take it easy.


It's more of a feeling a frustration, more than anything else...
I wish I could wait around for the perfect job, but truth is I'm just looking for a job..any job. I'm not even being particular at this time..I just need a job. It's come to a point where I might have to get another car and will have to start making payments on it and on top of that I already have household bills to take car of. 

I really don't have the time to sit around and wait for a job anywhere..I need something/anything to come through now.
At first it was get a job for some pocket money/experience, now it's money to pay the bills. 

Plus, I'm just tired of the guilt trip from the parents..

----------


## Atlantic

> It's more of a feeling a frustration, more than anything else...
> I wish I could wait around for the perfect job, but truth is I'm just looking for a job..any job. I'm not even being particular at this time..I just need a job. It's come to a point where I might have to get another car and will have to start making payments on it and on top of that I already have household bills to take car of. 
> 
> I really don't have the time to sit around and wait for a job anywhere..I need something/anything to come through now.
> At first it was get a job for some pocket money/experience, now it's money to pay the bills. 
> 
> Plus, I'm just tired of the guilt trip from the parents..


ED the way i see it i can only say what i tell to myself and what i said to someone else the other day:  Don't let the frustration get you. Be patient. Just remember there are people in this world who are in much worse situations than you and i, and there are also ppl who are in much better position then u and i. Indeed the time is hard and difficult right now but it will change. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. We are just humans. We were created weak so we can be tested in many different ways, with hunger, health, wealth, hardships, sorrows, happiness, joys,gifts and love. It's all about the faith. No one can turn things around better than that person for his/her self. Ask Allah for help and practise patience. :nono :Big Grin: on't let the negative fold of the events get to you and discourage you. Keep up the hope. Best of Luck and i pray for your well being.

----------


## EntangleDesi

^^I know :] [[hugs]]
I'd just rather speak out about my frustrations and let them out than bottle it in - that has led to depression in the past and I refuse to ever revisit that part of life. 
I have the negative thoughts, it's only human nature, but tend to forget about them after a while and move along, continuing to live on the positive thoughts and just doing my part to make things better.

----------


## Atlantic

^^^ awee, in that case no worries sisso. i understand.Better to express than fall into the arms of depression. Going through it right now. let us keep up the positive spirit. hugs.   :Smile:

----------


## EntangleDesi

'sending out positive vibes'

I have my doubts and questions, but at the same time I know I'm capable and have a positive/strong outlook on life; I just wish it were a bit clearer at times..It's the uncertainty that gets me, especially when I still have so much further to go. And until I can see or at least have an idea about the future, it's hard to something coming out of it...

----------


## Atlantic

I just came out of the class and finished with my exam. IT WAS TOUGH!
There were two pages that were specifically very hard and i was like looking at the questions and my mind went blank and that is BAD!!! Not to mention i think we didn't have enough time to complete the exam though i was the last one she kind of had to kick out of the class. lol I felt like i needed time to review my answers and think out the answer to the questions before writing them down.

The multiple choice and true and false were totally confusing.
Short answers were not actually short answers...they were long answers and should have been worth more marks - at least the ones i knew the answers to.

The bizarre part was that the professor's review questions for the exams were no where close the the actual exam she had prepared.

All i can say is that i studied hard, did the best i could within my potential and now it's up to the professor and her marking.
Or at least this is what i can say to kill the rest of the week in anticipation of exam marks and to comfort myself.  :Frown:

----------


## Yawarkamal

hey atlantic best of luck for the result...

hi everyone ...feelings no way nothing in mind...

just enjoying the reality show om NDTVimagine ,(miya bevi aur woh) amazing ..funny

----------


## RAHEN

ohh...yawar...you see that show...same here..i love to see that...perfect bride is also nice ..but i love pati patni and woh...that is cool... :Big Grin: 
who do you think will win...or take good care of kids...

----------


## EntangleDesi

I have not a clue on how to approach this or even tell them how I feel about it. I'm not ready for the idea of it to even be thinking about 'big M' in my life. Before any of that I want to be able to make something of myself, for myself. And honestly, the whole idea about going through it scares me to death. I'm already a very private person, how do they expect to me just indulge into this... ?
I know they mean well, but this just isn't me..It could be just that because it's new, even then I hesitate to even try...
And truth be told, I don't think I'm in a place in my life where this is the right time..I still have much growing and experiencing on my own to do..

----------


## EntangleDesi

The idea is growing on me, but I'm still apprehensive about the whole thing.

----------


## Atlantic

exam result came out - i did fairly good. Thanks to Allah. Thank you all for your support and prayers...Bless you. 

----

aside from that, don't know what hit me again. 
i have fought 4 times if not more with my sister in two Months. It's not normal. She's not an ordinary sister. We never fight...mostly i'm the one apologizing. She's peobably doing it out of love. I'm sick of damaging our relationship and mood swings.

----------


## coolshoaib

Today i'm feeling a little bit of nervous due to my test. hopefully  i will do good in the end InshaAllah.

----------


## samsungaiwa

thank you very much

----------


## RAHEN

feeling maza maza..and awesome...rain came and made me lively..

----------


## coolshoaib

Feeling alive.

----------


## Tulip

Feeling happy and blessed, Alhamdulillah.

----------


## EntangleDesi

Stressed, but content

----------


## Yawarkamal

feeling very sad & surprised

----------


## coolshoaib

bored very bored

----------


## andrewthewarrior

*Feelings*

Feeling like 'Endurer' and 'Muzi' do not like me very much. LOL (Though that is probably, at least partly, my own fault.)

----------


## porcelein_doll

very bored and sleepy

----------


## EntangleDesi

Friends <3 Seeing her again was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

----------


## porcelein_doll

sleepy again  :Stick Out Tongue:

----------


## coolshoaib

Happy very Happy. :-)

----------


## Tulip

Oh that's very nice =)

----------


## Yawarkamal

today i went to barber and now totaly naked head...

----------


## AaDi

I feel lost.. hence the reason I'm here.. Trying to re-trace my steps to where I was a year ago.. what I was thinking.. what were my passions.. what were my desires.. what was my life like.. what did I feel..

----------


## EntangleDesi

I just wish I knew... I have hope, but this not knowing of what and when is killing me on the inside...I refuse to let it get to me, but it's humanly impossible to not break apart inside...This uncertainty is getting to me and I hate it...

I just wish that something would come through..a part of me feels/knows that with that a part of my stress would relieve itself away from me and take the tension away of not knowing how I'll be able to make it through.

A part of me knows that once all of this over and done with I'll be ready to get out of here and move on to bigger and better things in life, but as for now I haven't the slightest idea of where or even how to start or what I'd even want to do. Or would I even be able to do it. I love the fact that she thinks that I'd be the one to be able to go that far in life..Just hearing that last night not only made my day, but keeps giving me hope that I can and will make something of myself.

----------


## coolshoaib

I'm feeling very cold and hungry.

----------


## Tulip

I was sick since 2-3 days  :Frown:  but i am feeling better today. The medicines seem to be working.

----------


## Yawarkamal

feeling bad i have flu , also hungry too

 also happy that because of my dumble lifting in free time my arm muscles are now showing..yahoo

----------


## Yawarkamal

Happy new year to everyone>.

May this year u have all the blessings of allah>>ameen
myk

----------


## RAHEN

wish all of you good health...
willing to finish my exams..as soon as possible...willing to have a good break...

----------


## hotguru

*Thanks for sharing

*

----------


## shahidsultanshah

hello every one

----------


## Endurer

I am anxious for no good reason today.

----------


## EntangleDesi

I'm excited..nothing's better than dinner and movies with some really good friends...Hurting cheeks from laughing too much..here we come :]

----------


## Endurer

I feel lonely today and it has something to do with my routine.

----------


## RAHEN

sub kuch seekhna hai..aur issi chakar mein..kuch bhi hath nahi aaraha...
lagta hai..kuch bhi nahi aayega tareeke se...

----------


## AaDi

Just feel drained.. want this life to be over and done with..

----------


## AaDi

Lost.. and deserted.. I'm supposed to live and thrive off situations like these.. but I'm just scared to my soul to find out how much vulnerable I have become..

----------


## Atlantic

awe, hpe u feel better Aadi. 

---
me feeling good.  :Smile:

----------


## AaDi

It was really weird to feel the pain again.. that drowning feeling.. after two days of mental and physical torturing, hardly an hour sleep, countless hours spent thinking and several wounds later.. i still feel fresh.. i still feel pain.. i'm so tempted to crawl back in to my shell where i just lock myself in and forget the rest.. but i want more pain.. i want it end me once and for all..

----------


## EntangleDesi

I hate being treated as if I'm still a kid who is incapable of doing things on her own or isn't allowed to do the things she wants to do. I'm 25 freakin' years old..I don't have to ask your permission to do or go anywhere, nor do you have to tell me what to do. I know right from wrong and what I can and can't do. I shouldn't have to tell you everything that I am doing or am planning to do in the future. It's not like I wasn't going to tell you about it at all, but I don't have to ask your permission.

You want me to act like an adult..Start treating me like ONE!!!

----------


## Atlantic

feeling weird. not really happy. 
i'm tired of being surrounded by negative energy..and it's mostly self created - reflection of my own thoughts. Before i had no time to do all the things i was so passionate about. Now that i have time, don't want to do any of those things. i'm afraid of running out of time and not being able to accomplish anything. i think i'm too self conscious.

----------


## Atlantic

bored. missing my big sisso/my friend. really not happy from her. hasn't been there when i've needed her ...time after time...in last two weeks. i haven't contacted her in last two days...which is a big deal for me..cause i'm the kind of person who did not let a day go by wihtout texting at least a few times a day to her. Always same reply...sorry i was here..sorry i was there... to the point where i was told, i'm too busy...got too many obligations...cannot be there for you...sure i can be needy..i accept that...but you are my sisso/a friend...and you've not contacted either..not surprised cause it was me who always maintained the relationship...i hope you are happy without me. Yet my heart goes out to you...you are always in my converations...but im not going to contact u...let's see where it leads too..casue i can be stubborn...fine if you do not need me, fine if you have no time for me...i dont even know why i'm writing this cause i completely understand as you have said..."cannot be there for you" ...so be it...i will not contact u. i can go through this.

Time after time, tired of being hurt by you. You can have it your way..but just remember it was you who walked away...not me.

----------


## Hina87

^ Been there, done that Iqra Sis. 

My brother and I are also not speaking, and I'm honestly tired of acting like the "mature" one. Why do "I" have to forgive? I can go through life w/o him. In fact, I've already moved on. I don't really think about him much, honestly. Even blood isn't thick enough Sis  :Smile: . Akele aate hein duniya mein or akele jate hein.

----------


## Atlantic

First, aslamoalikum hina sisso. xoxox, how are you?

---

you know it is funny...cause I have been so upset over a number of things...and I was just wondering what to do...and I came across your thread you created back in 2007 called http://www.desitwist.com/teen-talks/...tml#post253094 ...which is exactly what Im going through...and I read what I had posted at that time..and didn't find it comforting enough...at last I wrote what I wrote above. why some of us are so loving and put others as our priority and forget about everything of our own???and yet exactly those people care less about you? it hurts. I tried so hard to back off...but I care for my big sisso so much that I couldn't avoid but expressing my love to her in the ways I did...and what I got in return when  I needed her ...cannot be there for you...mind you, she's been there for me and has done a lot...i've been there for her too...but...in last few months it's been more of a downhill than anything. I keep forgiving...after making her realize that hey...your this step has hurt me in such a way...you shouldn't have done this...always getting the impression that Im too busy and you are not that important anymore...but Im getting tired of it. Perhaps that's how it is. She's tired of me...and Im tired of being hurt. Perhaps we dont have as good of an understanding as I thought we do. I dont know.

There is no blood relation between us but we have known each other for 4.5  yrs.I care for her...she's my big sis..and a friend. ...so does she...but really...sometimes saying it is just not enough...you have to commit to it. However, now i fee ive come to point where its probably best for me to let go of her... i am sure she doesnt even realize that i'm upset. 

Anyway, she did contact me today...and I replied..only to be told once again..sorry i've guests now...talk later. As if I had contacted her. BS.
====
Having said all this, Hina, really...blood relations are not easily broken...i can pm to you on that. later. I hope and truly wish that one day things between u and ur bro will workout. Inshallah.

----------


## Atlantic

went to the outdoors yesterday...was not wearing my sweater for the most part...ok the weather was lovely...and sunny...so thought why not enjoy it...but chilly too...so..guess what happened? caught cold! been sneezing and suffering from watery eyes.

----------


## Hina87

> First, aslamoalikum hina sisso. xoxox, how are you?
> 
> ---
> 
> you know it is funny...cause I have been so upset over a number of things...and I was just wondering what to do...and I came across your thread you created back in 2007 called http://www.desitwist.com/teen-talks/...tml#post253094 ...which is exactly what Im going through...and I read what I had posted at that time..and didn't find it comforting enough...at last I wrote what I wrote above. why some of us are so loving and put others as our priority and forget about everything of our own???and yet exactly those people care less about you? it hurts. I tried so hard to back off...but I care for my big sisso so much that I couldn't avoid but expressing my love to her in the ways I did...and what I got in return when  I needed her ...cannot be there for you...mind you, she's been there for me and has done a lot...i've been there for her too...but...in last few months it's been more of a downhill than anything. I keep forgiving...after making her realize that hey...your this step has hurt me in such a way...you shouldn't have done this...always getting the impression that Im too busy and you are not that important anymore...but Im getting tired of it. Perhaps that's how it is. She's tired of me...and Im tired of being hurt. Perhaps we dont have as good of an understanding as I thought we do. I dont know.
> 
> There is no blood relation between us but we have known each other for 4.5  yrs.I care for her...she's my big sis..and a friend. ...so does she...but really...sometimes saying it is just not enough...you have to commit to it. However, now i fee ive come to point where its probably best for me to let go of her... i am sure she doesnt even realize that i'm upset. 
> 
> Anyway, she did contact me today...and I replied..only to be told once again..sorry i've guests now...talk later. As if I had contacted her. BS.
> ...


WaulaikumAssalaam Sis. I'm ok. How are you? 

I'm not going to take the first step, let's just say that. He is the older one, he needs to figure it out.

----------


## Atlantic

i'm very happy today! i got my provincial exam result...after 2.5 months...and alhumdulilah, i got an A! I'm soooo proud of myself...but the saga continues...the institute changed its policy for recognition.Trying to find out details. 

This course has been my dream..from years...i'm so grateful to Allah and all those who endured with me all the hardships during my phase of studies. Wasn't easy...but was totally worth it!

----------


## Tulip

Congratulations Iqra..so glad to hear that  :Smile:

----------


## AaDi

I always thought "life" is weird.. but as I found out (by being pointed out at for months) that no.. "I'm" weird.. I always thought my life had weird way of dealing with me.. give me happiness for a few days and then just throw a wrench in the mix to just see me suffer.. when I really try to work against it.. my life just walks away from me saying "I'm not playing with you any more".. for all the long hard days and sleepless nights I put in.. sometimes I think if there is a way I could go back in time and stop all this from happening.. me trying to play with life.. me trying to break the promises I had made to myself.. they were there for just this reason.. to stop me for just this pain.. sometimes I just feel my life is just standing there behind a corner and laughing at me.. because I definitely look like a fool living in his own dreamworld.. hoping everyone is what they say they are.. everyone means what they say to me.. everyone feels the way they tell the  way they feel about me.. and even after doing all I can do.. doing what I do best.. all I get for it is my loneliness.. my thoughts are my pain.. my thoughts are my poison.. if someone wants to kill me.. they don't need a weapon.. because a mere thought will take me out and torture me for the rest of my life.. and for some foes this is better than death itself.. for my life this is much better than a wrench.. hmm.. may be I'm just tired.. or may be I just feel.. nothing..

----------


## Atlantic

^ i feel like that some times. I'll pray for your well being. God is with you.

----------


## Atlantic

i dont knwo what i am going through and where i am right now. Sometimes i just want to take the whole world against me and sometimes i think this is nothing...i just need to let it go and tolerate. Other times i look back at life and see sad and disturbed phases and other times, phases full of happiness and joy - a classic example of life. But what now? what is going on right now? Am i suppose to be doing something ...i feel incomplete like i'm missing out on something or maybe it's just a fear of being incomplete and missing out on something just because i have time on my hands...or is it merely a feeling just because i've given up making decisions and taking control of life...and just leting it guide me to my destiny...there are just a million questions on my mind...dont know where to start and where to go. I hope to see a light or a purpose soon...cant bare to live like this for too long.

----------


## AaDi

When there is something wrong going on.. it is difficult for me to fight against my values, my heritage, my religion and my own self.. May be its my name.. may be its my nature.. or may be its just me..

I believe when you are committing something wrong, your soul calls out one final time.. trying to make you realise what sin you are about to commit.. and if you do not hear anyone warning you.. its time to be worried.. really really worried because the doors of heaven have been closed for you..

----------


## Atlantic

just coming out of teras, feeling scared of speaking the truth to someone just so i can go see my friend...it's been a month since i've seen her...she really needs me...now. Our friendship has been a secret...and now that she needs me, i will have to speak the truth and make it official. if i speak the truth, i can be put in difficult position and taunted with potential restrictions for the rest of my life and not be permitted to go see her...and if idont speak up now...i will not be there for my friend. She's too important to me. im wiling to take the risk. Im nt doing anything wrong but just want to see her...cause she needs me...and she's been there when i've needed her...i am afraid of being interogated of why...cause i cant expose what's between us...God help me please!

----------


## AaDi

I'm so close to giving up on everything.. its like I've just run out of energy.. I have never felt like this in years.. not this bad.. not this tired.. not this exhausted.. I have worked so hard to be here.. and all just seems fruitless.. Sadly I somehow knew it will come to this.. I had felt I will end up like this.. I've hardly slept in past few months.. but tonight I want to stay awake.. I want to push myself one step further.. push myself off the cliff's edge.. I have put on the best song I could find to pump me up but I feel nothing.. I just feel incomplete..

----------


## Atlantic

talking to myself is not helping enough...i want to bounce off ideas on someone whose mentality is inline with mine...the sad part, that same person needs to do the same thing with me. i just want to say whatever is on my mind...say it out loud...express it...to a listening ear. if i dont do it, i feel like im going to damage a relationship...though i think its already been done...and if its still sticking around it is cause that person is not wise enough to see it or is confused themself.

----------


## Atlantic

what happened to those happy days? That amibition? Interests and hobbies? Those goals? Never give up attitude? Where is my strength? Where is happiness? Why am i so lost and confused? Feel like im going in circles, time after time lift myself up only to fall back in a while. Tired of fighting against myself, afraid to trust on anyone, just want life to hit me ...hit me and destroy me. 

feel like im living in a lifeless body, only present on earth to complete the cycle of life.
Depressing, indeed.

Im tired. Worn out. Destroyed. Torn.

----------


## EntangleDesi

Have much to say/write, but can't seem to find the words. 

I've come to realize just how clueless I am about my own future..It makes me wonder it I'll ever be able to figure out what it is exactly I want to do and go in life.

----------


## AaDi

Its time to go back in to my shell where I can just be 'me' .. after years I feel all this was just a big mistake .. just a big gamble.. a gamble I have lost .. I feel like I've just been torn apart .. Its time to head back to where I came from .. tired .. and alone ..

----------


## Atlantic

> Its time to go back in to my shell where I can just be 'me' .. after years I feel all this was just a big mistake .. just a big gamble.. a gamble I have lost .. I feel like I've just been torn apart .. Its time to head back to where I came from .. tired .. and alone ..


take a break from whatever you are going thru. 

In order to accomplish bigger/better achievements, one often has to endure defeat in intial stage. Dont know what u r going thru bt every bad has a good side to it.

Good time has a bad side to it, that it does not last. Likewise, a bad time has a good side to it, it also does not last. If today is grey, tomorrow will be brighter. 

Keep faith and patience. Happiness is waiting for u...just  look around.

----------


## AaDi

I feel weird.. as if I've lost something.. Something that was really dear.. Reminds me of a time when no one cared.. Not as if anyone cares now.. My life has become all about being told what to do.. I'm just there for "entertainment" purposes.. Reminds me of something I read some time ago: 
"Dua mangi thi ashiyaney ki.. Chal pari andhiyan zamaney ki.. Mera dard koi nah samajh saka.. Mer adat thi her pal muskuraney ki.."
May be that's where I'm going wrong.. I can't just expect people to stay the same.. Or mean what they said.. Or even do things for "my" happiness.. May be I'm expecting too much from life  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

feeling like: tu hi bata zindagi jo bhi howa, kiyon howa, khoi hai kiyon her khushi, kiski lagi bud dua. kisai kisai jawab doon, bhoja bhoja hai yeh dil kiyon...

----------


## AaDi

I just feel sorry for myself.. I just keep doing it again.. expecting things from ppl .. how lame it has to get .. how lame "I" have to get now .. it's so pathetic I feel sorry for myself .. May be this will wake me up and stop expecting stuff from anyone .. it's just me with my pathetic brain with it's pathetic thoughts and I have to deal with it all.. alone! Guess it's time for zombie mode.. Don't feel anything don't say anything  :Smile:

----------


## AaDi

I was about to do a post in the morning.. but I held myself back.. and I'm so glad I didnt .. my first test in the morning was a success .. I completely managed to fake all the emotions .. now I just have to do a test later in the evening to make sure I can still function like this .. and then once everything seems in place .. everyone will be happy ..

----------


## mOOsh

i am feeling a bit anxious ,tired and worried...hoping to get out of this sad period of time ASAP..hate being sad..

----------


## AaDi

It's funny how this all falls into place.. Just easy this all gets.. The price is really small.. I kinda feel bad because I knew the answer to all my problems I just kept seeing past it.. It doesn't really matter what I feel or how much pain I'm going through.. This AaDi has to die for everyone to stay happy and that is exactly what is going to happen.. I always thought living is all about the right cause but as I always find out it's not the case.. It's all about giving up and dying for the cause you believe in  :Smile:

----------


## GULIG420

I am looking forward to the

----------


## EntangleDesi

*Aadi:* By everyone I hope you're including "_YOU_" too. Because if you're not the one that's happy/satisfied, then what's the point? There comes a time when you have to just say screw you and just do what makes _you_ happy. 


So much for having a good/fun day at work. Just ruin my happy-go-luck attitude I had, why don't you. I'm tired to the guilt trips. I don't owe you anything or have to do anything for you. Especially since when it is done, it's not appreciated. You just complain, because it's not on your time. But you don't see that I'm either at work or busy with school work. The only time I have to myself is the weekends. I have every right to go out if I wish too. And no, I don't have to let you know about it, nor do you have the right to ask me where I went. Am I out though? Hardly. Why? because I'm trying to finish up and graduate by the end of this summer. And now with me working 3-4 days a week, I really only get the weekends to read. So I'm sorry if I don't have enough time for you, but you can't give me the guilt trip or take out whatever bad feelings you have on me. Especially when I see you being so nice to everyone else. And really with that attitude, how do you even expect me to want to sit with you? Sorry, but, I can't put up a front and pretend to be nice to you. I can't fake it and I won't fake it either. 

La- Di-Da-Dum...I feel so much better after that ^^rant.

----------


## AaDi

Umm I feel nice.. yea every now and then I do feel crap but its better than before.. numbness is a bliss.. i have stopped thinking about tomorrow.. definitely ain't bothered about the day after tomorrow.. from the moment i wake up in the morning.. i live by the minute all day.. not worrying about what is going to happen next.. and go to sleep each night hoping not to wake up the morning.. and if i do.. i just repeat the whole process.. nice and simple.. and really effective..





> *Aadi:* By everyone I hope you're including "_YOU_" too. Because if you're not the one that's happy/satisfied, then what's the point? There comes a time when you have to just say screw you and just do what makes _you_ happy.


Of course it includes me.. If I don't feel anything.. don't expect anything.. I won't be sad.. and I'll be "happy"..

----------


## Atlantic

Feel like crap. I wish i could shut my eyes and never open them again. 
Just want to foget everything - hate everything arnd me.

----------


## AaDi

I feel crap but still proud of myself for being able to pull something like this off for almost 5 days.. I guess I better used to the crapiness as it has increased a lot in past few days.. I guess it's part of life to stopping bothering about ur 'happiness' as after a few iterations .. It's just a mere word without any feelings.. And after all .. All this was about killing my feelings.. Killing my expectations.. killing of my happiness.. I didn't get into this to walk out happy.. I walked into this because I just have any other choice..

----------


## Atlantic

what is wrong with you? why do u fail to see that I too care about her. I'm only stopping her from doing the wrong things. I dont hurt her...no, no where as much damage as you have caused her yourself; and I hve only come to this decision just because you have failed to set standards for her. No one is perfect - you are not, I am not but this time u r just way off track. You are wrong. You are destroying our relationship. You are destroying this household. Unnecessarily. Just put up with me for few more months and I will be gone from this house forever - I pray we never have to share our days again, - Inshallah...I will let go of him as well, so you can be happy with him but just remember that he will never be happy without me or any of us - because our combined love will pull him out. No matter where any of us go, his heart will beat for us - you can throw me out, you can curse us all but remember, when she grows up, the way she turns out to be, it will be merely because of you.

----------


## AaDi

Just want my mind to go numb .. and be on my on.. I want my mind to just shut down and stop expecting anything.. cuz no one gives a damn and I want it to do the same!

----------


## Endurer

Aadi, try playing MW2.

I am playing Billy Jean over and over again for no flipping reason.

----------


## AaDi

Endurer.. Khail vi lai..  :Wink: 

I feel lazy .. and tired..

----------


## Endurer

Mein ne abi MW1 khatam ki hai  :Big Grin:

----------


## AaDi

I'm finishing Assassins Creed .. last stages .. as I wana play Assassins Creed II (which is waiting to be played  :Big Grin: )

----------


## AaDi

I just give up.. I just cant take this anymore.. I walking away from myself.. ending every single piece of feeling.. emotion or sentiment.. its the end!

----------


## Tulip

Can you end it yourself Aadi? I wish we could..but it's just not possible.

----------


## AaDi

> Can you end it yourself Aadi? I wish we could..but it's just not possible.


I've done it before, I can do it again and I will do it again  :Smile:

----------


## Endurer

> I'm finishing Assassins Creed .. last stages .. as I wana play Assassins Creed II (which is waiting to be played )


Haven't played that yet, is it a FPS?

My laptop's keyboard is f**ked up or maybe it's the motherboard because i've already replaced it with a new one. I have now purchased an external keyboard to use it for another two-three days. Speaking of compulsive shopping, I have ordered a foldable keyboard from eBay as well. So, it's three keyboards in total and I am still not satisfied. Perhaps a new laptop might help? Or maybe I just need to stop being an ungrateful pr*ck!

Speaking of laptops, my cousin bought a macbook last year and has nothing but complaints to register. First his motherboard failed due to a power surge when he took it to Pakistan, followed by a dead battery, and *ouch* a malfunctioned charging port. So much for _macs can withstand_ "insert calamity here".

----------


## AaDi

> Haven't played that yet, is it a FPS?


Its a "historical fantasy third person action-adventure/science fiction" video game  :Big Grin: 

I have an Acer Aspire.. 7200 series.. no problems at all .. but again I'm a desktop guy..

----------


## Tulip

> I've done it before, I can do it again and I will do it again


Well good luck with that and I wish i could do that too.

----------


## AaDi

I feel that I'm not meant to live my life but to make sure others live it.. Weird but not a surprise if I look at my past few years.. I work hard.. I give all.. Not for myself but for everyone around me.. connected to me.. I stay awake night after night so they can sleep peacefully .. But things have changed now .. Its like all this slowly eating me bit by bit .. I feel more tired .. I feel empty ..*

----------


## Atlantic

I dont know what i am feeling. Just a mumble jumble in my thoughts. I got so many lectures this weekend almost feel like i've been brain-washed. And these were positive lectures. I dont think i need to think too much about it for now, just face the present and taking one thing at a time should help.  <--- that was simple to say. Can i follow it? 

I think i want to spend some time alone and go back to what i enjoyed doing the most - day dreaming and being alone. This new job should help.

----------


## Endurer

> Its a "historical fantasy third person action-adventure/science fiction" video game 
> 
> I have an Acer Aspire.. 7200 series.. no problems at all .. but again I'm a desktop guy..


Just finished MW2  :Wink:  I will try Assasin's Creed after 24's SE8 finale. 

You know, I've tried HP, Dell, Compaq, Fujitsu, Viao in the past and none of them stood up to Lenovo's feature set. It's really disappointing to see it fall down too. I might just give up and run down the golden arcade for a desktop again.

----------


## AaDi

Yep.. I deserved that slap on the face.. for expecting someone else to make me feel better.. Its my problem.. I have to deal with it on my own and alone.. shouldn't be expecting anything for anyone!

----------


## Atlantic

So today was the first day at the office. It was alright, still not sure what exactly i'll be doing...but i have some clue. The ppl are nice and friendly. The job seems to be less stressful compare to last but of course my genuine comments will come following next week as at that time i'd have stepped into my role...all this week, just training. The commute saves me alot of time compare to my last employment....i'm a happy camper - i cant lie about it  :Smile:  Though i really tried..

----------


## Endurer

Glad to hear that sis  :Smile: 

It's high time for me to turn things around quickly. I have this strong can-do feeling which needs to be put to test. Help me, God!

----------


## Atlantic

^ thanks Endurer. 

feeling a bit sad.....he is really going to miss me. And i wanted him too. But....not the way he mentioned it. I pray God comes with an alternative for my absence so that he doesn't miss me and someone else can take my space for meeting his needs, for his better. But then to think again, it's all temporary emotional feelings.....after a few months nothing will matter. He'll grow out of it. Reality sucks!

............all the sudden i have a headache...i'm hitting the bed. 1.5 month of a break has spoiled my sleeping habits. No longer a morning person.

----------


## AaDi

feel crap.. and alone.. time for identity check i guess..

----------


## Atlantic

was reading some poetry by Parveen Shakir...found a nice one:

Isi main khush hun mera dukh koi to sahta hai


isi main khush hun mera dukh koi to sahta hai
chali chalun ki jahan tak ye sath rahta hai

zamin-e-dil yun hi shadab to nahin ai dost
qarib main koi dariya zarur bahta hai

na jane kaun sa fiqra kahan raqm ho jaye
dilon ka hal bhi ab kaun kis se kahta hai

mere badan ko nami kha gai ashkon ki
bhari bahar main jaise makan dahta hai

----------


## AaDi

I feel like a filthy piece of crap. I'm really close to my breaking point and from the looks of it.. this is going to hurt like help! Thank you very much life for another lesson!!

----------


## Endurer

Meja somehow sums up the day for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFv6aQNnmzc

----------


## Atlantic

Suffocating in my own pain!

----------


## AaDi

Something that sums up exactly how I feel: 

These streets remind me of quicksand.. When you're on it you'll keep goin down.. And there's no one to hold on to.. And there's no one to pull you out.. You keep on fallin.. And no one can here you callin.. So you end up self destructing.. Dark Memories of when there was no sunshine.. Cause they said that I wouldn't make it.. I remember like yesterday..

----------


## Endurer

I strongly feel that we can help unload some burden off of our shoulders if we meet for coffee today.

----------


## Atlantic

Here i am broken once again. All alone. Back to square one. Shattered into such tiny pieces that i wish not to be collected ever again. If this is how my life is destined to be, i do not wish to live more.

----------


## Endurer

> Here i am broken once again. All alone. Back to square one. Shattered into such tiny pieces that i wish not to be collected ever again. If this is how my life is destined to be, i do not wish to live more.


What happened?

----------


## Atlantic

> What happened?


Crap! BS. Any angle u look at it. Really like i said, i do not wish to be collected ever again. Dont want to talk abt it.

----------


## Endurer

Ohk, I pray it goes away quickly  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

hmm...don't know which road i want to take: forgive and forget or ....forgive and get ready to fight for the future; which calls for being alert. In either option, need a purpose for such a decision so i can live and move on. As much as i want to be destroyed, it never happens. I hit the rock bottom, only to realize that i will never come to an end, my life always seems to go on. So, what's the point of this endurance? It is part of me, it will always remain. I will always be thrown in different directions. I will always get hurt. But to whom does it make a difference? No one. Only i see it. 
I guess play by ear. 
The sad part is i have lost myself somewhere in this all. All this is totally unnecessary. I wish i could see in the future but then again...do i really want to? My feelings are just as confused as my thoughts.
Hope i can find the balance and walk the line.

----------


## Endurer

Thank you for coming back. I sure feel that we can start over again as good friends.

----------


## Atlantic

> Thank you for coming back. I sure feel that we can start over again as good friends.


Is that for me? If so, we already are. 
Sorry i was just upset, didn't mean anything towards you.

----------


## Endurer

Uh no sis, it's for an old friend of mine who came back just yesterday. Sorry for the confusion.
---
In other news, I refused/said NO all of a sudden and now all hell is set to break loose for me.

----------


## Atlantic

Feeling sleep deprived. Had a busy day today - almost felt lost. So much to absorb and soooo procedural!!!
Though it was awesome to see my friend for lunch! She made my day  :Wink:

----------


## Endurer

^ Good to hear that  :Smile: 

Had torrential rain here yesterday with 6K+ lightning strikes so yeah, summer has landed.

----------


## Atlantic

^ yeah, it was nice to see her until i discovered later that someone's making her life hell. 
---------------
so how long will it take to find a reason to live? Still drenched in self-destruction mode.

----------


## Endurer

^ Oh! Conflict is omnipresent.

I've been playing Carly's song all the time since yesterday. Pretty assuasive, isn't it? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P58M0...eature=related

----------


## EntangleDesi

So much to be done. So much I want to do and learn, but I can't seem to find the brain power to do it. As much as I've been wanting to and have been looking forward to finally being able to gain some skills in this area of interest I can't get myself to understand it or even be able to concentrate long enough to even try. At this point, because of the time line I set up for myself and everyone else around me I'm only getting by to get it over and done with.

----------


## Endurer

Had fun is disneyland yesterday

----------


## Atlantic

> So much to be done. So much I want to do and learn, but I can't seem to find the brain power to do it. As much as I've been wanting to and have been looking forward to finally being able to gain some skills in this area of interest I can't get myself to understand it or even be able to concentrate long enough to even try. At this point, because of the time line I set up for myself and everyone else around me I'm only getting by to get it over and done with.


^ i hear you. Been there, done that. Try not to stress yourself by over thinking about it. Really, you can only do as much as you can. Take one thing at a time and tackle it as it comes your way. You have to take it slowly and step by step, everything else will fall to its place. *Remember not to give up and dont be discouraged*. Keep trying and you will accomplish it all, one thing after the other.

----------


## Atlantic

had a descent long weekend. my netbook still not working - really not happy with that; cant figure it out either...i think i should have it checked by a professional...but i dont have that kind of time or money. 

Secondly, really unahppy and uncertain about future plans. What i'm being told is not to my satisfaction and i'm really not liking it. So, i do what i would normally do, take it in my hands to the extent i can, if it damages relationships...so it does...it is directly about me. If the other party invovled is so uncertain about it, i cant sit still and watch and wait for it to hit me. I am going to take steps for it now...and go for what i can do. I have made myself clear to all directly invovled..and i'm going to reinforce it.....to be clear. What i am being told is really not just with me and it's avoidable. He should understand. If it doesnt go as per my will, i will not be happy and i'll make sure he is not either.
The more i think about it, there is no point for me to go back home for this, it can go on as it is or it can come to an end now - for the better of everyone.

----------


## EntangleDesi

> ^ i hear you. Been there, done that. Try not to stress yourself by over thinking about it. Really, you can only do as much as you can. Take one thing at a time and tackle it as it comes your way. You have to take it slowly and step by step, everything else will fall to its place. *Remember not to give up and dont be discouraged*. Keep trying and you will accomplish it all, one thing after the other.


[[hugs]] I know..I've decided that if I don't/can't completely get it now I'll just it out on my own when I have the time for it.. For now I will keep trying my hardest to grasp the concept of it and even then if I don't get it at least I will know that I tried.

----------


## Atlantic

> [[hugs]] I know..I've decided that if I don't/can't completely get it now I'll just it out on my own when I have the time for it.. For now I will keep trying my hardest to grasp the concept of it and even then if I don't get it at least I will know that I tried.


Dont think you cant completely get it now....that's a negative thought.....be positive......you are going to try you best and try to learn/grasp as much as you can...dont measure it...that will just add to your stress. May be the rest will come with practice...and time...it's probably a bit challenging because it may be new or you are too concerned...take it slow.  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

feel like i'm coming down with something...or already am. But all i ate was ice cream cake, and then...ice cream sandwich....and next day i have been sneezing..and now the soar throat....oh man..dont want to get sick...it totally drains me, no matter how minor.  :Frown:

----------


## EntangleDesi

> Dont think you cant completely get it now....that's a negative thought.....be positive......you are going to try you best and try to learn/grasp as much as you can...dont measure it...that will just add to your stress. May be the rest will come with practice...and time...it's probably a bit challenging because it may be new or you are too concerned...take it slow.



No, I didn't mean that in a negative way. I'm getting what I can grasp of it..but not enough for personal satisfaction. I wish I could take it as slow as I would like..but I have to finish it ASAP...I need to keep going at it so that I can move on..but only for now...I'll go back to it on my own time..when I do have more time and a better attention span. It's just that now I really only get the weekends to even attempt doing this and by the time the weekend comes I really don't have the energy for it. 

Hope you're feeling better though :] [[hugs]]

----------


## Atlantic

^ hmm...sound like what i went through. I was working and doing part time studies..and all i had was the weekends. It  was draining!!!!! but i survivied..so will you  :Smile:   hugs. 
yeah, i took some meds...feel better today, emotionally and healthwise. Thank you for caring.  :Wink: 

(really , i liked the old emoticons better...dont like these ones.  :Frown:  )

----------


## EntangleDesi

^It's funny - the work nor the hours at work causes any mental drain..It's just this class..It's just come at the wrong time. I've made a schedule for myself so that I know what needs to be done in a set amount of time...That's the only way I'll be able to get anything accomplished since I'm taking online classes and have to rely on myself to do it. 

But a few more to get through and it all should be over :]

[these emoticons are way TOO old school for its own good :O]

----------


## Golden regerd

If they had those feelings to begin with, they would not do such things. And, it is not because they are of any particular religion, it is their mental instability and socio or psychopath tendencies that are a result of their defective chemical makeup that allow them to engage in such behaviors.

----------


## Atlantic

[these emoticons are way TOO old school for its own good :O][/QUOTE] 
^ couldn't agree more. 

feeling fine. Hope things will fall to their place when time is right.

----------


## gclokesh

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 1 posts.

----------


## Endurer

Dear Lord, don't send this girl over to my neighbourhood unless you have a LTR plan for me... just saying.

----------


## Atlantic

thank god my net book is fixed...i can go back to my good old evil habits. (oops, did i say that too loud) lol

looking forward to this weekend to just sleep-in and i want to treat myself...hmm...shopping?
Totally in mood of spoiling myself....in a evil/mischievous way...

----------


## Atlantic

life is so strange. It brings you to strangers who somehow become part of your most valuable relationships you ever had in your life. Likewise, you are. Though we have gone through fair bit i did not think i still felt like this toward you....when you told me the dates today....i felt like someone had put a very heavy stone on my heart...for a moment...for those couple of seconds.....my heart felt heavy, the room felt pin-drop silent, eyes got teary...i didn't know i still felt in such a way for you....i felt so distant....i pray you live a healthy, happy and blessed life...though i do not even see u everyday anymore, don't even text u that much.....and u are only going away for 2 weeks, i hope u enjoy this journey of happiness that God has showered upon you...indeed you deserve it....i wish you have a happy life, always. Even when i will be no longer part of it.....i value u.......i felt i am much distant than i thought. So close to heart....you are....yet so distant....in life....almost as if...there's nothing. 

I'll be fine.

----------


## Endurer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI3O1a86aQ8

This has rendered me useless for the day.

----------


## Endurer

Nothing like a free cup of tea :s

----------


## Atlantic

feeling broken....weak.

----------


## Foshiz

Fu<K indian terrorist a**holes

----------


## Endurer

^ Where did that come from?

----------


## EntangleDesi

What am I doing? I miss person X, but since I can't be around them/talk to them..I find myself flirting with person Y...AAAHHH I wished that the relationship with person X wasn't this hard to pin point what it exactly is. Damn I'd do anything to take up their offer right now..if only I had the means.

----------


## Atlantic

hazaron khuhishain aisi kai her ek pai dam niklai, bohut niklai merai armaan lekin phir bhi kam niklai

what i have on mind is a lot...and if i were to write it here....even after i'd have expressed myself...really i would not have said much..........i want my good old self back...the one i had back in 2006. Happy go lucky and healthy. I am tired of being ill. Life is passing by and i'm missing on opportunities.....i want to be happy and healthy. If things dont change, it will be a waste. i give up. 

Now, Only Allah can help me.

----------


## EntangleDesi

AAHHHHHHHHHHH....I love her I really do..But I don't need her playing devil's advocate with me...I'm already hard on myself about the situation already  :Frown:  For once I want to stop second guessing myself and just go with the flow. I do appreciate her input though :] If only it wasn't so darn confusing.

----------


## Endurer

HSBC's cash deposit machine gave me a BSOD while I pushed $12K in it so yeah, it's a terrible day for me.

----------


## Endurer

Uh! This lady is getting on my nerves today. I am not the God damn thai consulate so call THEIR hotline!

----------


## Atlantic

came across this:

zindagi guzarnai kai liye bahana hi sahi,
ae waqat kuch dair to mera saath dai

ji rahey hain in aansoun kai saharai
shaid koi aa ker inko khushi main badal dai

aaj nahi to aik din to woh zaroor aaye gi
iss aas main na janey kab woh kal aye

----------


## Endurer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi9X92g3FJg

Sighs!

----------


## EntangleDesi

Why do I do this? Why do I let myself get so emotionally into it when I'm not even sure of the possibility of being close is possible?
Sometimes, I feel like I'm playing a game with myself and you. Teasing/Leading us both on. Actually, we're both guilty of this. Feeding one another lines that we may mean, but can't take action on (just yet).

----------


## Atlantic

feeling tired. i cant believe it. I went to visit someone in the hospital.....and i ALMOST passed out myself!...all the sudden i felt light headed...went to receiption to ask for water..and before she finished replying..i started to lose conscious and fall down .........sat myself down on the floor.......and my head went dizzy....in the matter of seconds.........so quickly i lost some conscious ......and all i knew i was going to pass out completely....but i didn't.......the nurse brought me wheel chair.... which freaked me out more.....thinking i was really going to pass out..they gave me some orange juice...which revived me...and....if had they not kept asking me questions...i think id have lost myself. I dont know what caused it.....i had to lie to them to get out of there......about  driving home.....and home was good half hour away. Had i told them that....everybody would've showed up at the hospital...and that was going to be it for me....

How did it happen?!

----------


## Endurer

^ are you ok sis?

Coffee is doing the trick for me today.

----------


## Atlantic

^ pata nahi Bhai. I'm looking into it.  Seems like every few weeks there is an issue with my health. Just when i start feeling everything is good...instantly, something dramatic happens to my health. Each time i visit the Doc, nothing. That's good...but i'm tired of never ending on-again, off-again , never the same, health issues <---- very much my like my life right now.

Thank you for asking.  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

when the hell will i understand to not trust you...when? why do i always always forget.....you will never understand....ur and my worlds are different...the distance was suppose to help me realize that....how much more of a damage will it take? why cant i resist! okay i know....Bottom line.....i care about you.... but i must move on....i trust you too much, expect u to be there for me....and when u dont understand i end up being hurt....it doesnt have to be this way...ive tried to change it for myself..i truly have....i wish it all ends.......for ur happiness..and for mine. U dont need me...and i must let go.

----------


## Endurer

^ Are you still alive?

----------


## Atlantic

feeling very sad. I really miss Mom. i never thought that i will feel so lonely and incomplete without her at this stage of life: my wedding. No words can describe my emotions right now.

----------


## BUXX

you are right

----------


## EntangleDesi

Am afraid of being disappointed when and if we finally do get to meet. There is some sort of attraction/ connection, but I can't get a grasp on what that exactly is, and it just makes me wonder if it's at all real..or just something to fill the void. 

And going back to work tomorrow is going to be slightly uncomfortable after the little conversation with my co-worker on Saturday night - that was just too much...I literally had to take a step back...I really hope that he doesn't have those feelings for me. Crazy-ness!

----------


## Hina87

> ^ Are you still alive?


It would seem so.

----------


## Atlantic

it was so HOT today, man! all this week it's suppose to be really hot. Temperature around 34 and feeling like 40 with humidity .....it's not suppose to get this HOT around here.
but then i m in AC all day anyway....just commute time is heck of a time.

----------


## EntangleDesi

I'm afraid that I might just be falling for the idea...

I really need to stop second guessing all these feelings and breaking everything apart by analyzing every details. Playing out possible scenarios is nice, but not healthy at all. 

I can't let me set myself up for disappointment. 


I am curious though. Oooh man this could just spell trouble. :P

----------


## Endurer

> It would seem so.


Could be a bot for all I know, no? Nevermind. How're you?

Check out this new song girls:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPJsKRbv_GY

----------


## Atlantic

feeling exhausted. Too hot and too much work, home and work.

----------


## Shun Tait

It's just one of our many violent yet fun pastimes, kind of like the lovely corner store stick ups you get in America.

----------


## Hina87

> Could be a bot for all I know, no? Nevermind. How're you?


I'm fine. How are you doing?

----------


## EntangleDesi

I just don't get some people. You're the one that made comments to me that not only shocked me but have put me in an uncomfortable position at work, yet you're the one acting all strange. But btw me being nice to you isn't me showing you any sort of interest.

----------


## Endurer

> I'm fine. How are you doing?


I have fever  :Frown:

----------


## Atlantic

^ aw, feel better. 
---
though my mind never stops thinking of you, but i didn't expect to hear from you before your depart. Yet I think i deserved a formal farewell. But then that's just me expecting more than what you can deliver. Well, at least you had the heart to text me from the plane to say bye and ask if i was ok. 2 weeks of depart.....i'm going to miss you. 

just want to dedicate you: Do Pal from Veer Zaara   :Frown:

----------


## Hina87

> I have fever


Awww.. I'm sorry Teddy. I'll go get you some strawberries  :Smile:

----------


## Atlantic

> ^ aw, feel better. 
> ---
> though my mind never stops thinking of you, but i didn't expect to hear from you before your depart. Yet I think i deserved a formal farewell. But then that's just me expecting more than what you can deliver. Well, at least you had the heart to text me from the plane to say bye and ask if i was ok. 2 weeks of depart.....i'm going to miss you. 
> 
> just want to dedicate you: Do Pal from Veer Zaara


I miss my sisso! it's only been 1 day! How am i going to make it for the rest of the two weeks?

----------


## EntangleDesi

I miss _you_.

----------


## Atlantic

feeling caught in time. What is life? Life throws you in all different directions to test your strength, plays with your emotions, pulls you towards and through hurdles of difficult times. It gives you a world, feelings,  friendships, love...and then takes it all away...sometimes slowly...sometimes at once...rarely it reminds you of who you are and where you stand. It gives you ppl, friends, family to depend on, to share your joy and sorrow...and it takes what you are willing to give or sometimes simply snatches what should have remained yours forever to keep. Yet, one moves on. One day when you think and this all comes to your mind....while u realize it or not even when you are thinking all this, you are caught in time of life....to be unfolded in future.

----------


## AaDi

I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin 
I know when you in the house or when you cruisin 
It's been proven, my love you abusin 
I can't understand, how a man got you choosin
Undecided, I came and provided ma 
My undivided, you came and denied it (why?) 
Don't even try it, I know when you lyin
Don't even do that, I know why you cryin (stop cryin) 
I'm not applyin no pressure, just wanna let you know 
That I don't wanna let you go
And I don't wanna let you leave 
Can't say I didn't let you breathe 
Gave you extra cheese (c'mon), put you in the SUV 
You wanted ice so I made you freeze 
Made you hot like the West Indies (that's right) 
Now it's time you invest in me 
Cause if not then it's best you leave....

----------


## Tulip

In one word, I am* tensed*.

----------


## Atlantic

my gut tells me i've done something seriously wrong for which i will have to pay for, pretty soon. 
Not liking this. 

But my gut also tells me this was unintentional. Nevertheless, a misktake cannot be undone. 
Really nervous.

----------


## AaDi

Feel tired n dead but I know I can't sleep.. Just too much f****d n messed up for that..

----------


## Atlantic

feel...like...."is this love?" from Kismat Konnection

(for some reason i'm not able to post the video here)

----------


## Endurer

Thanks for ruining my day ahole!

----------


## Atlantic

i feel like i have just been hit by a car. 

First, i want to punch his face.
Second, i want to have one on one with him and ask him why the heck did u you do it? Grow up! How old are you again...39? This is no way of treating someone who has been committed to you financially in your down times, and we are talking about $30K and weeks of without pay....why did you buy the damn house if you were not stable financially. Fine put aside the emotional drama. Let's talk business. This was planned. It was your father's revenge on her for his loss due to the way he chose to lend money and thanks to your way of practicing your role. Regardless, you knew better. Fine she made mistakes but who brought this upon her.This is what you do: you pinch, pull and push and pressurize people all the way you can and when the person is screwed following your directions/orders, you punch them in their face. I knew you were negligent in practicing your role...but i didnt expect you to stab your own friend in the back! 

You will pay for this.

----------


## EntangleDesi

For what it's worth...

Me sitting here and contemplating all the possibilities has to be unhealthy, but what if all of that is worth the risk? And even if it isnt all that I imagined it to be  its still right? And if it isnt.Isnt life about taking chances and risking getting hurt? How else will one ever know without taking that step?

I have a feeling that this is something I should risk doing.

----------


## AaDi

Sometimes it feels like I'm just made to live for others.. To live like others want.. Accepting what they think is right.. Because whatever I want is either weird or too far fetched.. All I want is peace and some happiness but I guess it's just too much to ask..

----------


## EntangleDesi

I'm just a bag of emotions....I don't know what or how to feel at this point...

Staying positive through it all though :]


Can't wait for_you_ to put that cheesy smile on my face  :Big Grin:

----------


## **Veil**

koi muje bataikia howa?

----------


## Atlantic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P83fScX55fQ

^dedicated to my sisso and family.

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## Atlantic

feeling very very sad. It's so hard to pack, packing all my childhood, teen-age years, away in the box. Concealed for undetermined time. The stuff is not a lot but each time i sit down to pack, the memories carry me away and i end up putting the stuff back as it was before trying to pack it. I see the good and bad times passed right infront me and the present day where i stand.  Why do i feel i have to put behind my present and welcome the future with open arms without any flashbacks? Is that what everyone's trying to tell me indirectly? i dont know. Is it suppose to be this difficult? I dont think so. Then why is it? What happened to all the excitement? Why am i so unhappy? Why cant i get over the insecurities? I am tired of this roller coaster ride. All i know is i'm not happy and i just hope it doesnt' get to the extent i end up hurting. i dont knwo what i'm doing, why i am doing and waht's happening.

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## AaDi

Sometimes I just feel I could forget everything I knew.. forget everyone I knew.. forget even who I am.. My worst enemy is my brain..

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## Atlantic

i am about to do say something, yes, apparently there is yet something more i can say, that might break us up...yet again....but this time it may be for ever. I dont know. But i feel i must keep you informed otherwise i might be just fooling myself. i need some more time....it's not going as it should be, at least not from my end.

All i know my heart keep telling me, it's not going to work out, and i will not be happy. period.

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## Hina87

Sometimes I wish that someone could tell me that I can do it. That I'm doing a good job. That someone is proud of me.. that they believe in me. 

Lol.. Why can't I just get some love?

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## EntangleDesi

Everyone sees me as the one who's always laughing and joking around at work. Smiling randomly or just doing something stupid to make myself look like a fool. They see it as entertainment, but if they really knew me they'd know that inside I'm a complete wreck with all the what if's, when's and how's I have constantly running in my head. I wish I had things on track. Most of all I wish I knew what track that exactly was.

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## Atlantic

> Sometimes I wish that someone could tell me that I can do it. That I'm doing a good job. That someone is proud of me.. that they believe in me. 
> 
> Lol.. Why can't I just get some love?


You can do it Hina! You are Awesome! and i also believe in you  : ) but above all, you knw you can do it, you are great and that's why you are wehre you are...no?

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## Miss_Sweet

Aeee haeeeeeeee! :Embarrassment:  yeh topic abhi b chalta hai :P :P thori der k liye check karne ai...ke DT kidher tak pohncha howa hai :P :P

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## Tulip

Phir kya dekha Sweet?

Feelings= Sad before and happy now.

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## Miss_Sweet

Not that active topic like before... :Big Grin:  but still goood ;D

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## Endurer

Hey sweeto, good to see you again.

I still feel like burning down everything.

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## Atlantic

Awe, take a deep breath Endurer. Release the anger from your heart and relax. You are fasting...so forgive and forget.  :Smile:  It's Ramadan...for the Sake of Allah.  :Smile: 

---
Me feeling happy today. Yep, i repeat...i'm happy today. actually since yesterday....but really today. LOL...why? 4 more weeks..i'm going away to Pakistan. Inshallah.  :Smile:

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## Endurer

Na sis, not angry or anything. I lost a friend and the news came to me while I went to his shop to see him.

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## Atlantic

^ oh, i'm sorry to hear about your loss. May God Bless your Friend...and us all. Amen. 
---
feeling sad about all what the pakistani flood victims have to go through.

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## Tulip

sum aameen to ur prayers Iqra. And yes we are all worried. May Allah have mercy on us.

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## Atlantic

Walking on my frm home to station i felt like i was sleepwalking. Too sleepy and tired. 
Just wana go to bed and forget the rest.

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## Atlantic

i'm really in good spirit today...and can't wait until afternoon...going to see my sisso!...well, at least we both are going to try to hook-up. Can't wait! ah, i really hope it woks out for both of our schedules.

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## Atlantic

feeling a bit sleep deprived but still content. Really excited about my trip to London, UK. Can't wait. 
I actually dreamt about it before i knew i was going for sure, now i want to know if that dream is actually going to become a reality cause half of it was in London and other half was in Italy. LOL. I would love to go to Italy but that's not in the plan, at least not yet.

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## Tulip

Hope you have a great time there Iqra.

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## Atlantic

Disturbed. 

Poverty, Devistating Floods in the month of Ramadan, hunger, correupted politicians, incident of Sayalquote, Cricket Team, and now Bomb Blasts in Lahore. 

It's immensely disturbing. Yet i've experience none of it. I watch the images of floods in rural areas of Pakistan..it shatters one's heart to watch them...you can't. How can one watch it. I imagine what if i was there, one of them....and the bomb blasts. Lack the words to describe the feelings right now. Feeling terrorised. Not scared but grieved.

To make it worse, i woke up to the sound of sirens of Ambulance and the Helicopter to discover there must've been some fire in the neighrbourhood.

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## EntangleDesi

August was awful and September is going to be kick ass! I will keep telling myself that I will not get overworked and stressed out when something seems to be going wrong. I let myself worry and fall to the lowest point, questioning everything..only to realize that while the plan isn't exactly fitting in how I wrote it out..It's all coming together.

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## Endurer

Yes Iqra sis, it's gloomy all around.

I feel a bit relaxed today.

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## Atlantic

Worried and concerned about an aim. Time's running out and there's been no progress. 
Further, it's all going to be totally weird. But ONLY if i could accompilsh my intention...it will help a lot.

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## Atlantic

Feeling Great Today!...so much so, want to bug someone. heheeehehe  :Wink:

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## Atlantic

Feeling sad today....cause it's my last day at the office....these 4 months have been great learning experience. 
Will truly miss roaming in the Financial Distirict and much more.  :Frown:

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## Tulip

Awwwh...last days are always sad but an ending also takes us to a new beginning, new challenges and new journey of life. Wish you all the best dear =)

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## Atlantic

Feeling depressed, lonely and helpless. I am praying and seeking God's help but dont see any avenues...i know im nt the only one or the first one to experience it as such but what i also know is that im nt abt to handle it well. Its tearing me apart. I cant even complain to u as u feel hurt and i feel more hurt by seeing u like that. Where am i suppose to go and who am i suppose to ask for help. Yet i have my faith alive somehow but it truly hurts a lot. i just want to cry my heart out. Im among my family, yet very lonely.

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## Tulip

Don't cry my dear friend, I pray that Allah swt make things easy for you =) keep your faith strong and things will work out soon inshAllah!

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## Atlantic

^ thanks sisso. im trying my best to not give in to circumstances and keeping strong. Inshallah things will work out soon, i have my faith but aisai hi dil bhar aaya tha...was very disturbed. 
but now feeling a bit better... :Smile:  thank u. woh kehtai hain na, roney sai dil halka ho jata hai.

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## Atlantic

missing my jani.

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## abner

Every one has some feelings of different nature and with various targets to achieve in his life.Feelings has much intervention in our life and even i will say that these feelings run our life towards different directions to achieve our goals in life.

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## Endurer

I feel like spending the day at gym.

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## RAHEN

Feeling tired...making worksheet printing and pasting and correcting...every week with the same routine...but still i love it...

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## Atlantic

feeling stranded. I hope and pray canada post  does not go on strike i'm almost there to start the process, not now please!

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## AaDi

Tonight, while lying in bed, I'm sleepy yet I cannot sleep.. I'm not sad but yet I cannot smile.. I never take anything for granted but never thought it was going to hurt this much.. I never thought I would be this alone.. But yet again, this is how I end up.. I think the lesson is pretty clear.. Alone was how it started.. And alone is it how it's going to end..

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## RAHEN

waiting for this month to end soon...so that i can enjoy the coming two months peacefully...

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## Yawarkamal

uf weakend finish but why very fast.I think Still to take lot of rest..

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## Endurer

I guess I am scared of all the uncertainties that the future holds for me.

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## Yawarkamal

Lot of things to do, well every thing is going fine but very slowly.

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## Endurer

I woke up to an unusually cold day here in HKG (cold is good) and had a scrumptious breakfast. To top it all off, I had a strong cup of tea. In short, I feel fantastic  :Cool:

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## Endurer

[media=soundcloud]soundcloud.com/vagabond-5/dil-chahta-hai-jane-kyun-log[/media]

That sums it up for me today  :Stick Out Tongue:

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## Tulip

I feel nauseated and really sick. I'm not sure what is causing it but I do want to get rid of this sickness as soon as possible.

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## Endurer

^ get well soon.

[media=soundcloud]soundcloud.com/cokestudio/rabba-ho-master-sc[/media]

A beautiful start to the day here.

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## Tulip

Thanks, I feel better today. 
And the song is lovely  :Smile:

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