# Bethak - The Desi Lounge > Love & Relationships >  Love Marriage Or Arrange Marriage

## akki449

what do you like love marriage or arrange marriage

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## Endurer

Both  :Big Grin:

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## RAHEN

actually i want to have both in my world

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## akki449

what 's your world?

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## Endurer

Rahen means that she wants the best of both worlds. (arrange+love)  :Smile:

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## dsjeya

both my daughters loved,i arranged their marriage
4 about 10 lacks each

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## RAHEN

i wish best of luck for ur daughters and i wish dat they get wat ever is required to stay happy forever.

My parents arranged and i loved him.

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## dsjeya

thank u rahen
they r getting on well
my elder daughter has a baby girl
onething they r not baming parents 4 their problems because their selection
i wish u a happy married life
my marriage arranged,v r ok 30 years

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## RAHEN

> Rahen means that she wants the best of both worlds. (arrange+love)


yes u r right

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## RAHEN

thanks dsjeya.
and ur marriage will work happily for more years to come.

i hope ur 2nd daughter will soon have a child.

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## himanshu7444

love marreige

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## RAHEN

May I know ur reasons...?

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## dsjeya

love marriage
but not in haste
minimum 2 r 3 years
love marriage u fall into the well eyes open
arranged marriage others push you in to the well

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## RAHEN

hmm..might be...but in some arranged marriages i know....they take permission from groom and bride... :Smile:

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## Muzi

what ever suits you according to me

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## moments

Destiny Decide....

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## dsjeya

but in conservative islamic societies arranged marriage is the only option
merely taking consent may not ensure combatiblity Rahen

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## RAHEN

hmm..not only islamic...but in almost everywhere...where there is a matter of property, land,....etc..in the end the success of the marriage is not abt marriage which type of marriage one does...its abt how they maintain the relationship...

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## dsjeya

i do agree with you rahen
 but it is always better to analyze pros and cons before deciding
in india lot of arranged marriages 
of late love marriages and pre marital acquaintance is fast catching up

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## RAHEN

yeah...it is always better to know the pros and cons...and before that i think a person should know the pros and cons in his/her to be partner...the world is turning to be a devil and as fast as u can think.. nowadays ppl follow their instincts instead of truth....

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## dsjeya

yes,
in love heart over rules brain

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## RAHEN

yeah dsjeya..... :Smile:

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## dsjeya

love marriage is better if mature one
sometimes love make them elope with wrong person

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## RAHEN

yeah...u r right agree with u...infact there are many cases in which i found that they were simply not mr/miss right...

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## *S*

Ideally I'd like a love marriage. I'd like to be with the person for a few years before we settle, really get to know each other first

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## ahssas

*ok I Think Both...*

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## dsjeya

a love marriage well thought out and a courtship of a few years and with parents conscent will be the ideal one

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## akki449

i agree with dsjeya and rahen

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## dsjeya

thank u akki449

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## Miss_Sweet

love + arrange....

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## niceguy

> love + arrange....


what she said.

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## RAHEN

she said the best of both...is with her...shukar al hamdALLAH... :Smile: 

Thank you akki...but wat do u want...?

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## akki449

i think love ke baad arrange marriage kar li jaaye to koi harj nahi.because i think understanding is most important.

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## mytonse

Most understable..

Love is essential,but so is understanding and even so the new factor which develops after marriage called ADJUSTMENTS !!

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## RAHEN

yeah...understanding , adjustment, communication...all of them play an imp role in marriage... :Smile:

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## akki449

aur agar marriage ke baad understanding na ho paye to kya karen?

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## RAHEN

work with patience...it takes time for understanding...understanding builds bricks by bricks..not all at once...the more u communicate the more faster understanding will build.. :Smile:

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## AHMED_RAZA

It all depends on the society and culture one liv in. in pakistan ( it where i am from) and in our area Punjab i think its better arranged than loved one, because there is no concept of young boys and girls seeing and mingling with each other. As far as in western cultures i really can't talk about them because i am not an insider in those cultures. overall i think arranged one is better and with respect and trust comes the stronger love.

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## Endurer

Welcome to DT Ahmed. Yeap, and as Rahen sis said, you have to be patient.

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## RAHEN

> *It all depends on the society and culture one liv in*. in pakistan ( it where i am from) and in our area Punjab i think its better arranged than loved one, because there is no concept of young boys and girls seeing and mingling with each other. As far as in western cultures i really can't talk about them because i am not an insider in those cultures. overall i think arranged one is better and with respect and trust comes the stronger love.


Welcome to DT... :Smile: 
Ahmed...Ur views are based on the surrounding...but i would like to know wat Ahmed wants...keeping society alone for time being...?

yeah Brother Endurer...patience is the key during understanding....which is hard in the start...but then later things become easy and appreciative... :Smile:

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## Endurer

Congratulations and a welcome to the club 19000  :Wink: 

It is a very tiresome process sis.. I am not sure if I'll ever be able to make it upto her.

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## RAHEN

19000 ho gaye..:rolling;...u r most welcome.. :Big Grin: 

i find u patient, good company and a good communicator too...i believe u can....but when things come to ur usage of net...here i think u must hve less ur working hrs a bit...i know thats not possible everyday...but 2 days a week should be there..cause mostly girls social and outgoing guys.... :Smile:

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## akki449

aur agar love karne walon ke perents marriage ke liye agree na ho to kya karen?

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## dsjeya

no everyone can not climb Everest Rahen

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## RAHEN

dsjeya - u r absolutely right....but everyone can try to reach there...most of the time ...ppl dont know where the answer lies to successful marriage in their life...but it exists...it has to be found... :Smile: 

akki- again and again kaho...jab tak haan na kar dein..check out the reason for disapproval

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## akki449

maan lijiye perents raazi bhi ho jaate hain to kya relation main pehle waali baat rahegi?

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## RAHEN

nothing remains forever...waqt k sath bahut kuch badal jata hai...haan shayad pehle wali baat na rahe... lekin us se achi baat ho sakti hai...i mean one gets more than that from the relation... :Smile: 

aur parents ko manane k liye khud bhi kaho...aur kisi bare se bhi kaho k woh kahen...baron ki baat parents ziada sunte hain.... :Smile: ..humme tau woh bacha samajhte hain..is liye jaldi no kar dete hain... :Smile:

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## akki449

Kai Baar Aisa Hota Hai Ke Perents Agar Haan Nahi Karte Hain To Shayad Sahi Karte Hain Kyounki Love Marriage Aksar Qamyab Nahi Hoti Aur Agar Perents Haan Bhi Kar Dete Hain To Marriage Ke Baad Life Partner Perents Ki Ummedon Par Khara Nahi Utarta Hai To Kya Karain?

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## RAHEN

atleast 1-2 years....she needs to adjust her self in the house...know everything that comes and goes....high expectation leads to destruction...

then i think...husband ko us ka sath dena chahiye...jahan jahan woh galti kare..us ka sath de kar usse bataye...dont order...advice her...aur inshaALLAH...zuroor kamyab hojayege..and that will take time... :Smile:

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## dsjeya

u don't even by foot wear without testing

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## RAHEN

didnot understand that....?

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## manni9

> u don't even by foot wear without testing


My dear you are comparing humans with shoes :s
Is there any guarantee that after "testing" the shoe (read human) will always be trustable?

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## akki449

shaadi ke baad kai baar aisa hota hai ke hum agar life partner ki taraf zyada tavajjo dete hain perents ke bure ban jate hain aur agar perents ki taraf zyada tavajjo dete hain to life partner ke bure ban jate hain....
aise halat main kya karain

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## RAHEN

khamosh raho...aur mobile ka ringtone baja do....kehdo...i m busy...khudhe is ka solution nikal lo....aur phir bahar chale jana.......phir deer baad jab ghar aana tau khush khareed kar lana dono (parents, biwi) k liye... :Big Grin: ....

koshish karo sides lene se door raho...lekin agar dono mein se kisi aik ko chunna hai tau parents ko khush rakhne ki koshish karna...aur parents se kabhi kabhi biwi ki bhi baat manwane mein us ka sath dena.... :Smile:

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## dsjeya

recently released "just married" a bolywood film analises the emotional drama of arranged marriage where two strangers have to share bed with in a few hours of acquaintance

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## akki449

kai baar male female attraction ki vajah se shaadi tak kar lete hain lekin wahan love jaisi kisi cheez ka naam bhi nahi hota baad main attraction khatam ho jaane per jo situation creat hoti ha uska saamna kaise karain

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## Bored4life

I think that arranged is the best.  When we start liking somebody, our sense of judgement takes a direct hit.  So I think our parents should choose who we should marry.

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## dsjeya

end up in Bored4life

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## kaosrulzzzzzz

Im a mammas boy so ill have to go with arranged marriage..

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## RAHEN

> kai baar male female attraction ki vajah se shaadi tak kar lete hain lekin wahan love jaisi kisi cheez ka naam bhi nahi hota baad main attraction khatam ho jaane per jo situation creat hoti ha uska saamna kaise karain


rishtey ki buniyad attraction thi...jab yeh khatam ho gayi...tau sub kuch almost khatam ho gaya...mostly dimagh mein yehi aayega live it or leave it...ekin marriage is a commitment...aur commitment agar kaim hai...tau nothing bad will happen...attraction khatam ho bhi jaye but its trust, understanding and forgiveness that matters....which is a section of love.

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## Sporadic

> shaadi ke baad kai baar aisa hota hai ke hum agar life partner ki taraf zyada tavajjo dete hain perents ke bure ban jate hain aur agar perents ki taraf zyada tavajjo dete hain to life partner ke bure ban jate hain....
> aise halat main kya karain


akki y dont u keep balance between the two. Then there will be no any kind of problem, believe me. 

1 thing more, dont give chance any one to talk against the other. If it so, then you should be nuetral, else problem rose.  :Smile:

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## Shikari

*Do you believe in arrange marriage or love*

Do you believe in arrange marriage or love
Do you think it's fair that your will choose sum1 for one ??

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## RAHEN

i believe in both...but i dont believe in human ...who can change any time nowadays

no..i dont think i will choose..but yes i will give idea..of someone...if any.

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## RAHEN

This topic is back again.. :Stick Out Tongue:

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## NInA

I had enough of this topic. Sorry, i will wait for others to post their meanings.. be4 i gain my interest in this topic again.

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## Yawarkamal

My friend shikari & all , I believe in Arrange or love both ,because if there is arrange then after marriage love ho skta hy may b when ur barat go there u see her and Love ho giya...Ya it happends...Believe it or after marriage love..

And if it is love marriage then it is too good also...

But ballance between 2 relationship parents and wife is necessory...Never hurts both...if ur wife love u she can understand ure feelings and helps u in this situation and also helps u to stay away from this situation or this situation may not occurd...

Because ith life patner u have to live whole life and with parrents u live ur befor marriage life & now they need u ...So pls think never do any thing bad with parrents...

Where u from Saudia Arabia (Shikari)?
MYK

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## canadian_shawty

lOVE MARRIAGES ALL DE WAY...WHOOT HOOT. 
i dun mean to argue but wht happens if u dont fall in love after marriage...n dont deny but there are pretty high chances of that not happening and if love dont happen den 2 lives are ruined...love marriage is the safer choice...

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## RAHEN

oh wao..what a point u caught...good haan.. :Big Grin:

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## canadian_shawty

thanx Rahen..much appreciated

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## Bluehacks

Love Marriage  or Arrange Marriage Doesnt matter...

What matters is Whether u r understand the feeling of his or her's

Small problems must be sort out first..otherwise it will become big.

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## Dedicate_Aquarius

arange marrage coz its living perfectly

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## akki449

agar life partner ka nature humse na mile to love marriage success kaise hogi ?

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## *--Half_Dead--*

well am not married
but yeah engaged so it was arranged but i was happy with it
so i agreed to it!!

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## Tulip

I prefer both. Insan acha hona chaiye phir marriage kese bhi karen successful rahegi.

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## dsjeya

love marrage is better

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## yellowby

Arranged is better - lasts forever in my opinion

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## SandledJohn

Arrange marriage is the key to spend a glorious life with your partner cuz the successful rate of arrange marriage is too much higher than love marriage, so the results are infront of you people.

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