# Bethak - The Desi Lounge > Love & Relationships >  your life partner!!

## ryma

hi guyz!! y don't u tell me about ur Dream girl/boy?  :Smile: 

if someone of us (he or she) thinks about marriage or having a relationship with someone, how (her/his) dream boy/girl will be?

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## Endurer

If I remember exactly, spotlesssoul once made a comment at msn; "no two humans can satisfy their own humanly desires". The point is that we can't be hundred percent sure if we would get what we 'want'. I am not opposing the idea of dreaming.. but one should do it with care because it can hurt you / the relationship badly at the end of the day.. when your dreams turn out to be the nightmares.

As far as I am concerned, I am a go-with-the-flow type of person & I really don't care about the future.

Good topic Ryma.. reputation points added.

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## nakedangel

evrybody luves to dream but hey to wat xtent will those dreams cum tru ...u dnt wana indulge urself in creating fanasies and hopes and aspirations for urself wen u dnt even knw wats n the next step for u in lyf...but ryma i lyked the fact tha u asked .... :Smile:

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## Thay ra baap

my dream girl is a girl who will love me for me and my timw with her is always the best. i already found that dream girl ;0)

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## ryma

oh great "Thay ra baap" you find your dream girl :Smile:  best of luck both of u for your future.. hope your dreams come true.

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## ryma

I agree with u Adeel.. you are right its really very painful when your dreams became nightmares.. anyways thanx to reply :Smile:

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## RAHEN

Marriage is one of an important fact in life and to imagine abt ur basic requirements that u want in ur life partner must be known as later it becomes easy in selection cause no one else can read ur mind except u urself. 

I want 3 things in ma life partner- all else will come one by one( may and may not) Firstly- knows his responsibility towards every one i mean to every relationship and gives time and secondly humourous- puri life aik serious insaan ke sath guzarna mushkil hai and third trustworthy (jis par trust na ho usse kabhi pyaar nahi ho sakta or eternal nahi).

I believe - Whoever Allah Almighty has chosen for me is best for me and will surely come to me no matter wat happens.and i will accept him as he is made for me.  :Smile:  Shukar al hamdAllah i have mine.

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## ryma

Thanx Rahen 4 ur nice thoughts :Smile:  I also agree with u that whoever Allah has chosen for me is the best life partner for me..  :Smile:

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## RAHEN

truly he is best- but remember sis marriage doesnot depend on the partner it depends on how  u/we shape it - how u maintain ur duties and rights towards each other.  :Smile: 

His single most important characteristic won't be what he has alone but what you share together  :Smile:

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## ryma

I agree with u Rahen completly, yeah the relationship depends on the two sides.. As they say "Tali ek haat se nahi bajti" :Smile:

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## manni9

well insaan soochta tou bauth kuch hea but hoota woh hi hea jo Allah chahtta hea.
i wannt her ke woh kaafi samajhdaar ho,mujhe loogon ki essi aadaatain bilkul bhi achi nahi laggti ke woh chooti chooti si baaton per aape say bahar ho jain.
Bauth confident ho!!!well aaj ki dunnya main confidence bauth important thing hea,ab woh zammana gaya ke larkiaan sirf kitchen main saari zindigi guzar dain.
Bauth ziyada boolti na ho werna larkiaan bauth pakaati hain  :Stick Out Tongue:

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## ryma

:wink: good manni, hope you find the perfect girl 4 u..

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## dsjeya

mine was an arranged marriage
30 years now
no regrets
2 daughter
both medical doctors with post graduation
both loved,i agrred to their choice
so 4 so good
but sometimes they feel they could have waited somemore time

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## RAHEN

"sometimes they feel they could have waited somemore time"
Why do they feel/think like this dsjeya??? (Answer if u want)

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## dsjeya

friend rahen
love is heaven,utopian
but marriage is different,2 people to live together
problems,differences,adjustments so sometimes frustration
sometimes they say u could have advised us i just smile 
it is their life

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## mytonse

My life partner is chosen..I mix well and both of us understand each other..

Very soon i shall have her..

Inshallah..

AMEEN-SUMMA AMEEN

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## RAHEN

inshaAllah  :Smile: 

Suma Ameen

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## RAHEN

> friend rahen
> love is heaven,utopian
> but marriage is different,2 people to live together
> problems,differences,adjustments so sometimes frustration
> sometimes they say u could have advised us i just smile 
> it is their life


All this is a part of life.
thanks dsjeya  :Smile:

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## Nutter

> mine was an arranged marriage
> 30 years now
> no regrets
> 2 daughter
> both medical doctors with post graduation
> both loved,i agrred to their choice
> so 4 so good
> but sometimes they feel they could have waited somemore time



Hey Dsjeya! How's you doing? 

Well, to comment on it(but sometimes they feel they could have waited somemore time) I'd only say: Getting married is like going to a restaurant with your friends, you order what you want but when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you ordered that. Funny...Huh! But v true.

Coming to the topic... I think finding the perfect match isn't about becoming somebody's 'perfect person'. I feel, it's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

'DT' Rocks!

P.S. Good Luck Mytonse and God Bless! May you get your heart's desire...Ameen!

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## dsjeya

rahen 
i don't know how old r u, but u show lot of maturity
it is a good sign u will succeed
nutter
i am fine and u
it is not always we want what other persons have
sometimes what v ordered in good faith turned out be undercooked/burnt/saltless etc

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## Nutter

> nutter
> i am fine and u
> it is not always we want what other persons have
> sometimes what v ordered in good faith turned out be undercooked/burnt/saltless etc


I'm great Dsjeya..Thanks!

Dsjeya if am not mistaken you said your daughters had love marriages. It's like knowing not only the menu but the ingredients and moreover cooking the whole dish by yourself. If it's undercooked or spoiled broth...who's to blame? Please don't take it personally, I just am trying to explain why do people who have love marriages blames someone else or say should have waited little longer. (even if they would've waited,  how do they know if they  would be able to make the right choice).


God Bless You! Keep Smilin'!

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## dsjeya

thank u nutter
in love heart overrules brain
after marrage brain takes over
people don't accept their mistakes,tend to pass the blame on others
take care nutter friend

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## RAHEN

i loved reading both of urs discussion (experienced)- i c good work - go on...
@dsjeya
thanks  :Smile: 
 "people don't accept their mistakes,tend to pass the blame on others"
trully said -i believe any relationship which has this mindset is going towards unsuccessful  relationship- Actually i think if we accept our mistake if we are mistaken that would be one of the best thing in relationship.(ppl say if u didnot do any mistake- and its ur partner who did it then keep quiet - wat u say???

@nutty
"I think finding the perfect match isn't about becoming somebody's 'perfect person'. I feel, it's about finding someone who *helps you become the best person you can be*."
v.true-liked it- marriage is abt lifetime commitment - wat abt those who just stand beside u??- with u (ppl say a marriage is for sometime if the couples dont have difference of opinion- i mean if they think alike ) wat u say?

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## dsjeya

thank u rahen
if your partner did something wrong forgive and forget
and if it is u at fault mend
nobody is perfect and to err is human
don't try to bend, love the partner as he r she is

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## Nutter

Hi Folks!

Rahen we are not just experienced but pretty old too :P Dsjeya is in his 50's and i'm in 70's..(smilin' sheepishly).

Rahen am sorry but meri samajh aaya nahi >>> wat abt those who just stand beside u??- with u (ppl say a marriage is for sometime if the couples dont have difference of opinion- i mean if they think alike ) wat u say? << Agar samajh aaya hota tou definitely I'd have had my say..anyhow!

Now coming back to topic. Well, Dsjeya wrote :"in love heart overrules brain
after marrage brain takes over" << Dsjeya I believe for I know that love isn't love until and unless your heart and your brains doesn't work in tandem. 

Love is blind theory implies here to whatever you said but I have a completely different perspective about it. If your brains and your heart aren't working together then it could be anything but love and that too as serios a matter as Marriage, which is a lifetime committment! (No matter what, you have to stand for your partner in every way and sense).

Yes, I already said that noones perfect but as I said in my previous post, Love makes you the best you can be..! Khair...


Take Care All!

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## dsjeya

if brain comes to front seat love goes
if y is asked no love will blossm
it is all hormones in young age sadly i and nutter r missing

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## dsjeya

congratulations to mytones

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## RAHEN

@nutty
dont be sorry- i meant ppl say that couples who have most of the things common are not as successful as the couples who dont have most of them common  :Smile:

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## dsjeya

opposite poles attact,same pole repel

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## ryma

*it was very nice to read your discussions Dsjeya, nutter & Rahen.. you guyz have great experience* 

I really believe that once you chose your life partner you should be responsible for your choice, you can't blame any1 else if he changed after marriage or the love goes away from the relationship.. Again success of any relationship depends on both couple not any1 else :Smile:

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## ryma

*congratulations* Mytonse for  finding your life partner :Big Grin:  wish you all the best for your future :Smile:

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## dsjeya

thank u 
rhyma
your understanding of life is good

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## ryma

Thank u dsjeya :Big Grin:

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## BrEdRiN

My dream girl is Priety Zinta...i would die for her

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## dsjeya

if u marry her the same will be a reality friend
all that glitters r not gold

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## Atlantic

I am a biggest day dreamer I know...though that's anther thing that i stopped dreaming about this matter..like brother Endurer said...at the end of the day..it can hurt...so let it be as it will be..."take life as it comes"

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## ryma

Atlantic I totally agree with u in this "take life as it comes" coz it hurts when you can't make your dreams come true:S

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## dsjeya

really nice such mature statments from young people

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## dsjeya

be patient in selecting life partner
some indians r living together

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## glimmering_candle

ok 
now its mah turn











i don't think abt any dream boy or a life partener
cuz i think its not good for meeh n mah future

if i do then it means that m not paying attention to mah aim n studies
cuz ''khali dimagh shetan ka ghar hota hai''

so that i don't think abt it even if m not doin' any thing!

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## dsjeya

glim
u can say your opinion

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## RAHEN

> opposite poles attact,same pole repel


nicely said 
reminds me of Newton's 2nd law of motion studied in college. thanks.

ryma n atlantic sis.
take life as it comes. but then when it comes u have no idea of what u should decide. every human has limits- boundaries- their life style- decision is always urs of saying yes or no. I think A bit of idea is important. not the whole image that helps while deciding.

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## Ammc

*I am just one of those who believes in destined and meant to bes..Having said that, there are no expectations..if I happen to have expectations, then where would I find the room for other precious things in life like unconditional love..until the destined one happens to appear in my life and ready to walk by my side, me gonna enjoy life for what its worth..and cherish every brand new day just as isno complaints..none whatsoever:-) *

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## Atlantic

well to me..take life as it comes means..to allow time to take you to there when it's time to think about it......let it come and not jump ahead of yourself...sure it's okay to to think about your desires and wants of your life partner...bt for me..i try not to..me being a day dreamer...i tend to start making bigger expectations...thus...for me it's better not to ...of course i had something in mind...but i havn't thought of it..for at least for certain yrs now...so...when it comes...we'll really deal with it...what's the point of thinking of it..ahead of time anyway...you are only going to be with one that you are meant to be by the grace of Allah.

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## Atlantic

Of course, being a human, everyone has desires and certain hopes...that i do too, but like i said...nt recently...nothing in mind....i'm sure whatever i lead into i'll find myself to satisfaction  :Smile:

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## ryma

great to read ur opinions Rahen, Atlantic & Ammc.. thanx 4 sharing ur views :Big Grin:  God Bless you & make your dreams come true :Smile:

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## dsjeya

i don't understand ,a woman lifepartner has to satisfy basic needs of life
cooking,housekeeping,sex and childbearing
what other expectations u people want

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## dsjeya

sorry rahen as 4 as i know the law is in magnetism
opposite poles attract same poles repel

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## RAHEN

oh yahhhh
Actually i m a v. bad student of physics subject. thanks 4 correcting me.
 good memory :up;

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## dsjeya

it is alright rahen
r u getting ready to celebrate ramzan
4 me diwali

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## RAHEN

Ya actually i will celebrate both Eid and Diwali as i have some Hindu frnds and yes i m almost ready for both. how r u gonna spend Diwali???

dsjeya,
may I ask wat u wanted in ur life partner when u were young- like wat waz the image of dreammate in ur mind that u wanted ???

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## dsjeya

thank u rahen
i came from a poor family,my father and mother toiled to educate me in the medical college so i want to give them the happiness of choosing their daughter in law
but like any young man i wanted my life partner to be fair complexion,good features,well dressed and educated.
what i got 50%

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## RAHEN

hmm great :up;

may i ask why u didnot look for a girl who has a good character,...... i mean many positive qualities. she doenot have beauty but she has brain ???

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## dsjeya

in young age everybody goes 4 beautiful girls
may be after marriage we realise character is more important
but then too late

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## RAHEN

hmm ok
thanks

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## dsjeya

u r welcome

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## ryma

Nice to read about u dsjeya,, wanna wish u a very happy diwali even if its too late now :Big Grin:  

I agree with u that in marriage character is more important than beauty..

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## dsjeya

thank u ryma
i will take your greetings as the first one 4 next year
i do like your posts

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## ryma

so sweet of u dsjeya.. thanx :Big Grin: 

Keep posting, there is a lot to learn from ur experienc:wink;

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## dsjeya

with encouragement and appreciation

 ryma ,
i will keep posting

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## RAHEN

u r always appreciated dsjeya - i love to read ur views and always wanna know wat u say. experienced words never go unread from me. 

always keep sharing  :Smile:

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## dsjeya

it is a pleasure rahen

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