# Bethak - The Desi Lounge > Love & Relationships >  Everything Is Fair In Love...

## Miss_Sweet

They say " Everything is fair in love and war..."

We r not going to talk abt WAR here...but What do u think abt dis statement abt EVERYTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE???

do u think its rite?

if not...Y?
if yes...

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## Glamorous-Ladee

umm i think it is tru, because wen u fall in love u want nothing but the bes outaa it. Your aim is to win and therefore you are willing to do anything possible to win. So yes i do think anything is fair in love.

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## Miss_Sweet

me too think its true..coz love drives u crazy...and yes ssometimes love can be dangerous...u do things u wud neva have dreamed, it breeds jealousy...

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## Glamorous-Ladee

yup yup.. u ry sweet  :Big Grin:

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## sikandar107

I don't think so.  Never thought of it though coz. I have never come across such situation where I drove crazy ever nor the person who loves me.  We both are continuing with our own faith and belief and we do respect others feelings and respect too.  And we have always judged a situation on its merit whether we are wrong or others are and accordingly, we have taken decisions.  On spur of the moment, we say this everything is fair in love.  But when we have a cool sitting and think about it after euphoria is gone, then our unfair action will definitely go to pinch or haunt our mind and soul for the rest of the life.   :Smile:

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## Miss_Sweet

hmm...thnx for ur reply

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## friendlygal786

No, I dont agree with this statement. Love surely is a special thing but to have this type of mentality would be ignorant for me personally. Life involves so many things and factors..we have to look and weigh everything, whether we like it or not

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## sikandar107

Yeah.. Friendly you got my point.  Its a very pious thing and I don't think any unfair stuff should get into it to defame it.  :Smile:

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## RAHEN

If we hurt someone for the sake of our love...or if we deceive someone for the sake of love..will that be called Every thing is fair in love and war...
I wonder who wrote this quote...and wat made him come to this conclusion.

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## sikandar107

Rahen - so do I?  How cud he compare a war with Love?  They are two contradictory emotions.  One is the result of outrage and hatred and other is the result trust, affection and passion.  How could these two are seen with equal parameters?  <<confused>>

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## Glamorous-Ladee

ye to some extent they are. Everyone's got a diff. point of view buh for me to some extent they are on equal parameters because with both ur main goal is to win. Therefore you sometimes are ready to cross all your limits for that ultimate win. You might not know you're crossing limits at the moment buh still u do it anyway... buh than again i wunna knw wut why u guys think they can't be on equal terms. Yes it's true that love and war are different feelings buh overall ur aim in both o em is the same.

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## RAHEN

May i ask glamourous...wat are we winning... Is our main goal to win him/her...when we know that we are at war against our own ppl...and specially when we know that we dont hve to win him...when he/she is already there for us...

Sikander...may be this quote is not for outer forces...but inner forces...wat u say

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## friendlygal786

Yea, *everything is fair in love and war* means do watever is takes to WIN, like GL said...winning ur love, and winning a battle, fight, war, etc. This involves giving ur all and having a passion to just get wat u want cuz ur crazy bout getting it. Thats wat it means, but I think its not such a great quote becuz it displays selfishness and ignorance, and I dont agree with it.

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## RAHEN

First of all, the proverb is " All Is Fair In Love and War"
I believe...that there can be a reason for every proverb that has gone through our eyes..nothing is useless when it comes to reading...and when it becomes a saying ...then obviously it has a history too...lets find its origin...the base root of this proverb. 

*The Sources in History*

1)from Chaucer in _Troilus and Criseyde_ (c.1380). But, the saying has a long history in various forms that justifies cheating:

'But now ne enforce I me nat in shewinge
How the ordre of causes stant; but wel wot I,
That it bihoveth that the bifallinge
Of thinges wist biforen certeynly
Be necessarie, al seme it not ther-by
*That prescience put falling necessaire*
*To thing to come, al falle it foule or faire.*
~excerpt from Troilus and Criseyde, by Geoffrey Chaucer

there are other sources in which he didnot exactly used these words but had almost similar meaning...and to tell u the truth...there is no origin of the thought...only variations presents as a guide to know...

'But wene ye that every wrecche woot
The parfit blisse of love? Why, nay, y-wis;
They wenen al be love, if oon be hoot;
Do wey, do wey, they woot no-thing of this!
*Men mosten axe at seyntes if it is
Aught fair in hevene; Why? For they conne telle;
And axen fendes, is it foul in helle*.'
~excerpt from Troilus and Criseyde, by Geoffrey Chaucer

2)1579-John Lyly in _Euphues_: Both might and mallice, deceyte and treacherye, all periurye, any impietie may lawfully be committed in loue, which is lawlesse.



http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Aegean/2771/quotes.html


3)1623-Fletcher and Massinger in _The Lover's Progress_, Act V, sc. 2: All stratagems/In love, and that the sharpest war, are lawful.



http://www.geocities.com/PicketFence/7608/sayA.htm


4)1677-Aphra Behn in _The Emperor of the Moon_, Act I, sc. 3: Advantages are lawful in love and war.

http://list.gatech.edu/archives/lcc3303o/0082.html
http://www.inform.umd.edu/EdRes/Read.../Behn/oroonoko





5)1835-First appeared in U.S. in _Horseshoe Robinson_.


http://www.ags.uci.edu/~ishmael/makingan.htm

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## RAHEN

Don't Have much Time to Read ^ that...then read this...

All's fair in love and war

The "All is fair" phrase means that all and any actions are fair (reasonable). No rules apply. The "In love and war" phrase is a short description of life and the world we live in. As one person stated it "The rules of fair play do not apply in love and war". The saying "Alls fair in love and war" is usually used in a light hearted way to describe some action that is a little unusual for the circumstances in which it took place.http://tww.id.au/pro/origin.html

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## Glamorous-Ladee

thank you rahen sis for taking the time to share the whole thing with us. I read it and now sorta after readin the whole thing, i mite wunna agree with u hehehhe..  pretty confusin statement who eva came up with it  :Frown:

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## RAHEN

yeah...and u will notice glamourous that no one actuallly used them..but had their variations kind of...

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## redwan999

it's an interesting argument.

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